Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/The Bus Uncle
The Bus Uncle edit
As it stands, the article about the Bus Uncle, Roger Chan Yuet Tung is a Good Article. Last year, it was nominated for FA status, but failed. The major reason was the lack of citations. Anyway, I started improving the article over the last month.
I have improved the grammar, rearranged the layout, separated important points into different subsections, added fair use rationales to all 4 pictures and added citations to many paragraphs made in the article (through newspapar articles, magazine articles, radio programs, news reports and even a TV drama episode).
I would like the article be reviewed again, to see if there is any more room for improvement so as to reach FA level. Thanks--Kylohk 09:59, 22 April 2007 (UTC)
Yannismarou edit
I liked the article very much! I think it could go for FA status, but A-Class review in our project and GA review give you room for more feedback before the final FA nomination. Some (minor mostly) remarks:
- All you photos are fair-use ones. In the past, some FA reviewers did not like that, but I am not sure if this is still a problem.
- "Nevertheless, he was not charged with any of these offences." It looks like an orphan stubby paragraph. Maybe you could merge it and connect it better with the previous analysis.
- Maybe you could enrich the sociological aspects of the incident, by enriching with more scholar analysis "A closer look at life in Hong Kong".
- "Effects on popular culture in Hong Kong" could be also enriched. How is it explained the popularity of this incident among the society? They actually became stars those involved in the incident!! Is there any scholar or media analysis about that?
- I think that in "References" you should put all the sources you mention in "Notes".
- "Although the session was widely reported, many believed it was artificially created news and unworthy of front-page attention." Uncited. When you use expressions like "many believed" etc. citing is appropriate to avoid WP:WEASEL. The same with "Nonetheless, others denied any social insights could be gleamed from the video clip, arguing that the frenzy was artificially created by sensationalist newspapers in order to boost circulation and profits."--Yannismarou 11:40, 27 April 2007 (UTC)
Reply 1 edit
Thank you for your review. I was getting worried that no one would ever bother to read it! Anyway, I made some changes based on your comments:
- The Aftermath session is merged with the Legal Issues one. After the nevertheless sentence, you will come to the part where he was assaulted in the restaurant. After all, if he were charged by the police, he could not possibly be hired.
- In the effects on popular culture in Hong Kong section, I've added an incident involving a student and teacher in school and their usage of the catch phrases. Detail has been added about the TV sitcom episode.
- I have added another viewpoint in the "Close look at life" session, it is to do with people's inconsideration in public.
- A reference has been added to the Media ethics session. It is an editorial criticizing a newspaper company's fabrication of news.
If there is anything else that I should pay attention to, please let me know.--Kylohk 15:39, 27 April 2007 (UTC)
Reply 2 edit
Let me reply to your comments 1 by 1.
- I agree with the point made about British spelling, and I have adjusted the spellings accordingly to make use of British spellings.
- Some redundant words have been removed, some retained, if I consider them to disrupt the continuity if the article.
- The heading comment is irrelevant because the name of the Video is called "The Bus Uncle", hence it begins with a The.
- The comment about the measurements is incorrect. The . Ng mentioned is taken from the phrase "Dr. Ng", where it stands for Doctor Ng, with Ng being the surname.
Cheers.--Kylohk 13:05, 6 May 2007 (UTC)
- The peer review is script generated so it sometimes makes mistakes (like the header or Dr. Ng). Keep up the good work, Ruhrfisch 11:56, 7 May 2007 (UTC)