Wilfrid edit
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I've listed this article for peer review because…I'd like to take it to FAC and would appreciate comments on comprehensiveness, the ability of non-medievalists to understand it, and prose. All other comments are of course welcome!
Thanks, Ealdgyth - Talk 18:56, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: As requested, here are some suggestions for improvement. I think it looks pretty good overall, so these are fairly minor issues.
- The lead image is nice, but I am guessing you will have trouble with it at FAC. The source should link to the page that contains it here. That website gives no indication the image is over 100 years old and says "NOTE: Pictures in York Cathedral not to be reproduced without permission of the Dean and Chapter of York". If you can get permission, there is also a stained glass image of Wilfrid on the same page.
- The labels on File:Northumbrian bishoprics and monasteries, 680s.svg are so small I have trouble reading them even when I click on the image for the full view - they are impossible in the article (at least on my monitor). Even making the caption clearer (York is the southernmost red star and Ripon the yellow star closest too it) would help.
- File:British seventh century kingdoms.gif is also difficult to read in the article and is set at 150 pixels wide, when the MOS says it should just be set to thumb. Maps can actually be set wider for legibility.
- Wilfrid the diocesan violates WP:HEAD, could it be just "Diocesan"?
- I think the article needs to do a better job providing context - most casual readers will not know that there were multiple kingdoms then, in what is now England. So I think it would help to add a brief paragraph on the kingdoms and the situation at the time. I would also perhaps add "Kingdom of" before the first use of a place name, or King before names - as one example, I thought Oswald of Northumbria was a clergyman until I clicked on the link.
- The three sections of "Other aspects" seem as if they would read better elsewhere - either put into the proper chronology or perhaps split between chronology and then discussed in the Legacy section
- I know you usually get someone to copyedit, but this prose needs to be tightened up. A few examples just from the lead:
- After the appointment of Theodore of Tarsus as Archbishop of Canterbury in 668, Theodore resolved the situation in Northumbria by deposing Ceadda, and returning Wilfrid to the Northumbrian see. could just be Theodore of Tarsus, who was appotinted Archbishop of Canterbury in 668, resolved the situation in Northumbria by deposing Ceadda and returning Wilfrid to the Northumbrian see.
- Or does the fourth paragraph of the lead really both Historians then and now have been divided over Wilfrid. AND Modern historians have differed widely on their interpretations of his life...
There's a start for you, sorry to take so long. Hope this helps. I think the major concerns are the images, a few places where some context is needed, and polishing the language. Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 02:10, 13 March 2009 (UTC)