Wikipedia:Peer review/Welcome to Our Neighborhood/archive1

Welcome to Our Neighborhood edit

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because we'd like to receive feedback on how to improve this article. It is short, which is the reason cited for failing its recent Good article nomination. If there are any suggestions on improving the article, then please post them. Thanks! Gary King (talk) 20:10, 29 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Giggy edit

  • "all tracks from the band's self-titled debut were released earlier that year." --> "all tracks from the band's self titled debut album released earlier that year" (if you talk about the album release... needs a different reword if you talk about the single releases).
  • "The video was well received by fans and entered number one on the Billboard Top Music Videos chart and remained in the charts for 54 weeks." - cut the "and" overuse. Maybe "where it remained for 54 weeks"?
  • "The video was certified gold on December 21, 1999 and was later certified platinum on February 16, 2000" - trim some redundancies... "and platinum on Feb..."
  • I'd agree with Matisse on the talk page that this probably can't be a GA. There just isn't enough content out there, unfortunately. —Giggy 08:21, 30 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Your first point doesn't have a verb? The rest are done. Gary King (talk) 14:47, 30 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]