Wikipedia:Peer review/Tripura/archive1

Tripura edit

This peer review discussion has been closed.
This is a small state nestled in the north-east corner of India. Geographically isolated and economically backward, the state is noted for its biodiversity and ethnic diversity. Except the "culture" section, all other sections are, IMO, well developed, with appropriate references. The culture section is getting improved, too.

Any reviews are welcome. Specifically, prose can be a major focus (like many other India-related articles). Of note, there are many red wikilkinks, especially in geography and flora and fauna sections. Any help creating articles from those red wikilinks will be great!

Thanks, Dwaipayan (talk) 22:02, 7 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • It is indeed a well-developed article. I think you should consider submitting it for GA, and then bringing it back to PR or else going straight for FA once improvements are made to the prose and in other places.
  • I wouldn't worry too much about redlinks. They're fine even in FAs. It's up to the community to create these pages.
  • I'd recommend looking at other FAs as models for this one. I thought Gangtok may be particularly relevant.
  • What about a climate box and a separate climate section, as Gangtok has?
  • How about a Media section at the end (after Education)?
  • Specific suggestions follow. First in the lead:
  • "third smallest" -> "third-smallest" (compound adjective takes hyphen)
  • "several north-south laid parallel hill ranges" -> "several north-south hill ranges" (if they all run north-south, they must be parallel, no?)
  • "by the Tripura Merger Agreement" -> "with the"
  • "led to tension" -> "has led to tension"
  • "remains peaceful" -> "remained peaceful" as of 2012?
  • "with only one major highway connecting it with the rest of India" see WP:PLUSING and rephrase.
  • "most of the residents" -> "most residents"
  • "although service sector contribute the most to the gross state domestic product" -> "although the service sector is the biggest contributor to the state's gross domestic product"
  • "also source of livelihood" -> "also a source of livelihood"
  • "Scheduled tribes": I'm not clear what this means. Is this a caste thing?
  • "with Kokborok-speaking Tripuri people forming the major tribe" see WP:PLUSING and rephrase.
  • "The mainstream Indian cultural elements led by Bengali culture coexists along with tribal traditional practices." I can't make sense of this. Indian culture led by Bengali culture? Is there a way to make this clearer? Can we say Manstream Indian and Bengali cultures coexist with traditional tribal practices?

Etymology

  • "several etymological root of the name" -> "roots"
  • "In ancient time" -> "ancient times"

History

  • "significantly longer and difficult" -> "significantly longer and more difficult"
  • "Reversal of demographics led to tribes becoming minority": not sure what this means. Is it "tribes becoming a minority"?
  • "and ebb and flows of insurgency spanning decades" -> "and an ebb and flow of insurgency spanning decades"
  • "the state—the state remains peaceful as of 2011." -> "the state. The state remains peaceful as of 2012."

Geography and climate

  • "Seven Sister State" -> "States"
  • "third smallest state" -> "third-smallest state"
  • "Indian states of Assam" -> "state"
  • "the rocks found in the state represent age from oligocene epoch" -> "date from the oligocene"
  • "to holocene epoch" -> "to the holocene epoch"
  • "Some flood plains located in the western and southern part of the state form the major part of agricultural land" -> "Flood plains in the western and southern parts of the state contain most of its agricultural land"
  • "Muhuri and Feni are the southwestward rivers" -> "the Muhuri and Feni flow southwestward"
  • "The state is overall subject to a tropical savanna climate that is designated Aw under the Köppen climate classification" -> The state has a tropical savanna climate designated Aw under the Köppen climate classification"
  • "undulating topography lead to local variations" -> "leads"
  • That covers it up to the Flora and fauna section. I think it's very close to ready for a GA review, though, which should pick up more of these issues with the prose. It's not a major amount of work. But you might consider adding sections before submitting if that's what you decide to do.--Batard0 (talk) 15:44, 16 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Reply Thank you for the detailed and thorough peer review (and I how you will read the rest of the article as well). I have made changes as suggested by you. I apologize for some of the rather silly mistakes (such as noun-verb disagreement); should have taken care of those before.
As you have pointed out (and we expected), there are many copy-edit and good prose issues (such as WP:PLUSING). I have tried to take care of those as suggested by you. The scheduled tribe has been wikilinked, and yes, it is a caste-related thing. We can explain that in demographics section, rather than explaining it in the lead. An appropriate wikilink may be sufficient, what do you think?
The problem with a climate box is Tripura being a state, the data from various cities differ. If it was an article on a city, climate box would have been easy (data from a single weather station would suffice). There are climate box for several state and country articles in wikipedia although many of those under-represent the climatic variety present in the particular state or country. I am not sure if climate data for the whole state of Tripura is available, I will try to find out. We did not make a separate "climate" section since that section would be quite small in size; we put geography and climate together in a single section.
Media might be added, but I wonder if there would be enough data as to make it a separate section. This article actually closely follows West Bengal article, which is a Indian state and a featured article. Gangtok being a city may not be an appropriate article to model.
Once again, thanks a lot for the peer review. The plan is to take it to the league of copyediors after peer review, and section addition/improvement is done. Thanks a ton, regards, --Dwaipayan (talk) 23:05, 16 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by ayanosh edit

History

  • There are no dates mentioned before the 13th century.
I did not understand this. there is a whole paragraph and some more prior to the mention of 13th century. Mythological connections, and Pillar of Ashoka have been mentioned. Do you mean we should add approximate date to Ashoka? That can be done. But none of the other has any known dates. Rajmala was penned for the first tim ein the fifteenth century, that has been mentioned. And 186 kings of Twipra kingdom has been mentioned, to provide an idea of ancientness (although debatable).


Geography and climate

  • "avoid sandwiching text between two images" as per here.Also it would be better if both were not of water,especially the rural one would better have village people or houses or farms.
Correct. No sandwiching. Changed location. Unfortunately I could not find any other image. Of course will prefer any other image, if available and suitable.

Flora and fauna

  • Italicize the scientific names.
Done.
  • "Two types of Moist deciduous forest—moist deciduous mixed forest and Sal (Shorea robusta)-predominant forests—form major part of vegetation in the state." The use of dashes doesnt look great.
Changed the sentence structure. Please have a look.
  • "A survey in 1989–90" is a bit too old i think 22-23 years is too much for animals to become extinct or new species to be discovered.
I will try to find newer surveys. I thought this might be slightly old, so specifically mentioned the date.
  • Instead of a link for each of the three state symbols and leaving one of the four, it would be better to just have the one link at the top of the infobox.
Done.

Transport and communication

  • The total length of all the roads can be stated, i think you can get it here
This link actually gives old data (2000-2001). New data is available in this annual report @ Page 199, which has been used to reference length of national and state highways. I did not mention the total road length for no particular reason -- but ok, will mention now.

Demographics

  • "according to 2001 National Human Development Report, which was based on 1991 data."....again a bit old....Whatsay?
Unfortunately I could not find any more national Human Development Report after this. Are you aware of any newer one?
  • Also is it okay for the infobox on religion to go into culture.
No, it is not okay. I have moved it up. If this style concern persists, we can get rid of this chart, as the religious break up has been discussed in detail in the text.
  • For such a diverse ethnic society like Tripura, can there be one "Traditional dress of Tripura"?
Changed caption to Tripuri dress.
  • There are just too many dresses!!.
Yes :) A new editor added two new images to the article recently. Let's just keep all these images a few more days. Once the "culture" section is better developed, we'd choose one of the images (probably the couple; what do you think?)

Education

  • Some hard data on the status of literacy, schools, teachers, may be even some scheme (if any) in the state would help.
That's a great idea. Indeed we have good hard data on this. will add those soon.

P.S — My first peer review, so just ignore if you think there is any stupid suggestion.Cheers!!! Ayanosh (talk) 18:13, 20 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Hey Ayanosh, it is indeed a very good review. I will reply to individual points later. And yes, too many dresses!! The latest two images were added just two days back!!--Dwaipayan (talk) 18:19, 20 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Replied to most of your comments above. Please have a look. Thanks for the wonderful review.Regards.--Dwaipayan (talk) 04:59, 21 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Redtigerxyz's commets
  • Use consistent ref style: [10]:3 v/s [36], [38] (pages in References)
  • History is inclined more towards recent events. para 3, 4 covers last 60 years v/s para 1, 2 centuries

Redtigerxyz Talk 06:45, 21 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

That's an interesting point you told Redtiger, your first point. Is that really inconsistency? I don't know. The {{rp}} template is recommended to be used when different page numbers of the same publication is used to support different sentences, so that we don't have to re-write the same publication every time, with different page numbers. In case of the FN 36, 37 etc, the same page range has been used to support different sentences, that's why {{rp}} template was not used.
For your next point, I will try to add some more stories of the kings in paragraph 2 maybe? Whatever we try, the post-independence history will be more than the preceding 2,000 years, as little is documented before 15th century. Let's see... (sigh)--Dwaipayan (talk) 06:58, 21 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]