Wikipedia:Peer review/The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay/archive2

The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay edit

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I've listed this article for peer review because I want to see if there is anything that needs improvement before I take it back up for WP:FAC. I just want to at least make sure the article meets the criteria for comprehension well researched. GamerPro64 00:59, 25 November 2012 (UTC) Doing... Thanks for the reminder. I'll try to have thoughts up by tonight (going to reread the old FAC to brush up.) Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 15:56, 6 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Some initial comments by David Fuchs

Still need to do a full run-through, but here's some stuff to chomp on while I take my painfully slow time.

Unlike many first-person shooters, the game contains no head-up display -- doesn't quite square with the following part of the sentence. It doesn't have a *persistent* HUD, but information is still relayed that way, no?
In looking for areas that non-game players might be a bit confused, do the reviews or game manual explain "combos" any more? Something like "combination attacks" might work better here, although I feel like we're missing the upshot--combo attacks are more powerful? Why would the player use them?
The opening cinematic shows Riddick in hiding, having grown out his hair and beard, before the opening scene of the movie. -- before the opening scene of what movie? The cinematic?
Afterwards, he accuses Pope Joe of tampering with his eyes; Joe says that he merely treated Riddick's injured arm. Riddick then continues his escape, while using the eyeshine to his advantage. Well obviously someone messed with Riddick's eyes--do you mean that Riddick thinks Pope did something else to his eyes?

--Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 15:18, 7 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the comments so far. I'm probably gonna have to play the game again to answer these questions. GamerPro64 16:19, 7 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Is there a reason the GamesRadar quote is pulled? Seems like undue weight to give it its own little box for their quote.
- Removed the pull quote. GamerPro64 15:44, 10 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Overall the reception section is I'd say 85% there, it's got the right content but needs a bit more tweaking. For lines like While the game's stealth mechanics were praised,[15][63] certain critics received its first-person shooter elements with less enthusiasm., you really should attribute to specific reviewers; "X and Y praised the game's stealth mechanics, though Z and B received its FPS elements..." etc.
I don't really have much else to comment on; seems broad enough in coverage for FA, although I'm wondering if there's anything more in-depth you can pull out of the development section; if there was a way to structure it in more of a narrative style I think it could be more engaging. It prolly needs more tweaks to the prose but seems fairly close. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 17:00, 9 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]