Wikipedia:Peer review/Stockhorn Arena/archive1

Stockhorn Arena

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… it was written by myself, and Im not a native english speaker. I would be very glad, if someone could improve the grammar/spelling and style. Probably it would be good to add new or change some of the existing references too (I tried to find links to english websites, but wasn't always successful).

Thanks, --03:59, 18 June 2014 (UTC)Rectilinium'♥'

Comments from Sotakeit

Overall, a very competent translation, that expect for a few bits and pieces reads very well. It's certainly no longer a 'stub' in my opinion, so I'd consider removing that.

Suggested improvements on language/grammar:

• From 1954 until 2011, Stadion Lachen was the home ground of Swiss side FC Thun: I think 'side' is a little informal. Perhaps 'team'?
• The club received an exemption to play at the Lachen for a few more years, but was asked either to renovate extensively or to build a new stadium: again, maybe too informal, especially 'a few more years'. If you know the exact length of time, I'd suggest The club received an exemption to continue playing at Stadion Lachen for X years, on the proviso that it was either extensively renovated or a new stadium was built.
• In 2006, the citizens of Thun refused to finance a new stadium with public funds, leaving FC Thun in a bind: I'd cut 'in a bind' out all together, which is rather colloquial to my ears.
• The new stadium - at that time called Arena Thun - was officially inaugurated on 9 July 2011, with a friendly match between 1. FC Köln and FC Thun. It makes sense in its current format, but I think Originally known as Arena Thun, the new stadium was officially inaugurated... sounds more idiomatic.
• The Arena Thun was subsequently renamed into Stockhorn Arena (in February already), but the official ceremony was on 12 April 2014, on the occasion of the match between FC Aarau and FC Thun. This sentence is a little clunky, especially the brackets. I'd rework it to something along the lines of: In February 2014, the Arena Thun was subsequently renamed Stockhorn Arena, with the official ceremony taking place on 12 April 2014, following the match between FC Aarau and FC Thun

Referencing:

• The first and third paragraphs in the 'History' section are totally unreferenced.
• The capacity and field size would also need to be referenced.
• I've had a very quick look for English references but had no luck (I'm sure I'd find some if I tried a little harder), but foreign language references are perfectly fine if English translations aren't available. Sotakeit (talk) 15:12, 23 June 2014 (UTC)

Excuse me, is anyone up for reviewing my nomination in trade for me reviewing yours? My nomination is going to FA this week, so I need feedback fast. The article is Super Mario Bros. 3 and the page is https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Peer_review/Super_Mario_Bros._3/archive2. Thanks for everything! URDNEXT (talk) 01:16, 29 June 2014 (UTC)

I concur with Sotakeit; this is very well translated from whatever language it was originally in, with a few exceptions--I'd like to add to his list above the phrase "Stockhornbahn AG (runs an aerial cableway to the Stockhorn)." I think there should be a "which" at the start of the phrase in parentheses. Also, "football stadium" is a disambiguation page and the link should be retargeted to go to Soccer-specific stadium. Jinkinson talk to me 16:41, 7 July 2014 (UTC)