Wikipedia:Peer review/Steamboat Willie/archive1

Steamboat Willie

I've listed this article for peer review because I want to get it to GA status in celebration of the film entering the public domain.

Thanks, Davest3r08 >:) ^(talk) 13:35, 10 January 2024 (UTC)

Comments from Rjjiii

• There are passages in the article that lack an inline citation. The paragraph beginning with "In June 1927, producer Pat Powers" ends with a citation needed tag. I see a few paragraphs ending without an inline citation; outside of the lead (which summarizes cited content) and the "Plot" section (where the work itself can be presumed to be the source), most reviewers will expect each paragraph or section to end with an inline citation verifying the content. A other bits that I checked like "The music in the final soundtrack was performed by the Green Brothers Novelty Band and was conducted by Carl Edouarde." don't appear to be in the next cited source. The Broadway Theater caption should either be cited or (probably better) the Broadway=Colony explanation could be moved to the article's body plus cited. I would suggest either adding inline citations for the uncited portions of the article (outside of Plot and the lead) or if they're already used somewhere in the article reusing them. This is often the first thing checked at GA.  In progress Davest3r08 >:) ^(talk) 11:57, 12 January 2024 (UTC)
• File:MickeyAngry.jpg was not published in 1928, and is likely not in the public domain. It shouldn't be used.

 Done Davest3r08 >:) ^(talk) 11:57, 12 January 2024 (UTC)

• The text added in this diff [1] needs to be removed or rephrased. It was and nearly is[2] a direct quote from the LA Times.[3]  Already done Davest3r08 >:) ^(talk) 15:50, 12 January 2024 (UTC)
• There are a couple one-paragraph sections, and many one-sentence paragraphs. This makes the prose come off choppy to me. Possible solutions are working them into larger bits, expanding them, or omitting them.
• Is this a copy of the source for the "Permanent dead link"? https://www.dix-project.net/document/new-scientist_1979-06-07_perpetual-youth
• Most book sources have either pages or sections cited. The four below are cited to the entire books. Is it possible to add pages or sections to these references:
  • The Musical Comedy Films of Grigorii Aleksandrov
  • The New Illustrated Treasury of Disney Songs
  • Walt Disney (1994)
  • The 50 Greatest Cartoons: As Selected by 1,000 Animation Professionals

I don't own copies of these books, so I have to ask someone either at the Disney WikiProject or the reference desk who might have them in their possesion.  In progress Davest3r08 >:) ^(talk) 11:57, 12 January 2024 (UTC)

Hope that helps and feel free to ask questions, Rjjⁱⁱⁱ (talk) 08:59, 12 January 2024 (UTC)

TrademarkedTWOrantula

Gonna take a spot. Reviewing shortly. Don't close this review. TWOrantula^TM (enter the web) 18:41, 13 January 2024 (UTC)

Okay. A few issues I spot here (yes, I am going through the article backwards):

• There's some WP:PROSELINE in the "Other use by Disney" section.
• Is Shacknews a reliable source?
• I feel like "In other media" should be called "In popular culture"
• In the 1998 film Saving Private Ryan, set in 1944, a German prisoner of war, nicknamed "Steamboat Willie", tries to win the sympathy of his American captors by talking about Mickey Mouse. - Not sure if this is significant enough to be included in this section. I perceive it as a simple, passing mention of Steamboat Willie.
• Ref #15 (Gould 1979) is a permanent dead link
• Cut "| CNN Business" in #51
• "Steamboat Willie" in references should be italicized per WP:CONFORMTITLE
• Why is the "Home media" section important?
• due to errors in the original copyright formulation - Seems complicated to read in my eyes
• Public domain should be linked first time in "Copyright status"
• "US public domain" → "American public domain"
• I'd recommend condensing those quotes in the reception section. Also, are there more sources reviewing Steamboat Willie? Surely they must exist somewhere...
• Steamboat Willie was an immediate hit, while Gang War has since been lost and all but forgotten today. - Second part of sentence doesn't seem neutral
• How popular was Steamboat Willie when it first premiered?
• was performed by the Green Brothers Novelty Band and was conducted by Carl Edouarde.
• The first attempt to synchronize the recording with the film, done on September 15, 1928, was a disaster. - "Disaster" is a bit too dramatic