Wikipedia:Peer review/Satyajit Ray filmography/archive1

Satyajit Ray filmography

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because Satyajit Ray is said to be one of the finest directors of all time and I am planning to take this list for FLC in the near future.

Thanks, - Vivvt • (Talk) 20:30, 4 March 2013 (UTC)

Comments from Tomcat7

just a forewarning that I am not so knowledgeable in the film industry, but am interested in helping you to get thist list to featured status.

• I am not sure if " (About this sound সত্যজিৎ রায় (help·info); 2 May 1921 – 23 April 1992) " is needed here. Since this list is about his filmography, the abbrevation of his name and his date of birth and date are not probably particularly important.

I had referred to some of the existing FLs and found that the similar (not exact) pattern was used. (Christopher Walken, Charlie Chaplin, Gene Kelly, David Lynch, Mary Pickford and David O. Selznick)

• ", who worked prominently in Bengali cinema." - remove comma, as that relative clause is substantial.

Done

• "With the career spanned over 40 years," - I don't think that phrase is connected with the next one, that he is one of the greatest directors. I would move it to where you discussed his overal work, eg "He made his directorial debut with Pather Panchali (1955) and within 40 years directed total 36 films, which includes 29 feature films, five documentaries and two short films."

Done

• ", then known as Calcutta," - I would reword "(now Caluctta)", but that is just my opinion

Done. Hmmm. OK. No problem.

• "into a Bengali family" - probably just "to a "

Done

• "French film director Jean Renoir in 1949, who had come to Calcutta to shoot his film," - "in 1949" should be moved somewhere else, because a relative clause should directly follow after the subject, in this case Jean Renoir

Done

• "The River (1951)" - add comma after it

Done

• "and his London visit in 1950 where Ray saw Vittorio De Sica's Italian film," - same here, "London, where", probably "his 1950 visit to London, where"

Done

• "Italian film" - I would remove that

Done

• "made an impact on Ray to become a film-maker.[3][4]" - add "which" ahead "made"

Done

• "He made his directorial debut with Pather Panchali (1955) and directed total 36 films, which includes 29 feature films, five documentaries and two short films." - "He" -> "Ray", "a total of", "which includes" -> "including"

Done

• "Ray's work got wide critical acclaim over the years.[5][6] He was also criticized for "exporting poverty"[5] and "distorting India's image abroad" through films like Pather Panchali and Ashani Sanket (1973).[7]" - I would write "Although Ray's work generally received critical acclaim (over the years not needed imho), films as Pather Panchali and Ashani Sanket (1973) were criticized for "exporting poverty"..."

Done

• "Alongside working for his own films" - working on, "alongside" -> better "besides"

Done

• "Ray composed music and wrote screenplays for the films made by other directors as well.[8] "

Done

• ", and authored several short stories and novels written in Bengali language, most of them which were primarily aimed at children and adolescents.[9][10]"

Done

• ",[15] Carlos Saura.[16]" - I would change the comma with "and"

Done

• "Ray desired to make various other films," - I would change "desired" with "intended" or "planned"

Done. Used 'intended' over 'planned'.

• "Sitar" - "sitar"

Done

• Comma after "sitar player" not needed

Done

• "the Mahābhārata" - add comma after that

Done

• "His The Apu Trilogy (1955–1959)"

Done

• "appeared in the Time magazine's All-Time 100 Greatest Movies.[19]"

Done

• ", Dadasaheb Phalke Award in 1984[20]" - add "the"

Done

• Sorting of "Year" "Original Title" "International Release Title" and "Language(s)" would be great. Use {{sortname}} for names, {{sort}} for other things.

This is very much achievable but not sure how to proceed for the multiple values like Hindi, Urdu, English or bullet values like Teen Kanya, Kapurush-O-Mahapurush.

• Original Title -> Original title, International Release Title -> International release title", etc

Done. Also changed 'Credited As' to 'Credited as'

• For notes, I would use {{efn}} instead of {{sup}}

Done

• Ref 18 publisher is Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences

Done

• That's all for now. Regards.--Tomcat (7) 15:01, 10 March 2013 (UTC)

Fixed most of them. Working on rest. Fixed all. Question for one point. - Vivvt • (Talk) 23:10, 10 March 2013 (UTC)

• Three intended works (Docu on Ravi Shankar, adaptation of Mahabharat, and Passage to India) are mentioned in the lead. While this information is appropriate for the article Satyajit Ray, I am unsure if this is needed in this list. I don't have enough experience on FLC, so you can probably keep this for now. --Dwaipayan (talk) 18:48, 11 March 2013 (UTC)

• I think it is ok to mention those in this article. Regards.--Tomcat (7) 11:16, 12 March 2013 (UTC)

Comments from Another Believer

I am not familiar with the subject or filmography lists with Featured status, nor have I read the above feedback, but following are my initial thoughts.

• Do filmography articles typically have infoboxes? Might be worth exploring...

Not seen for any of the filmographies. Also, infobox filmography template itself is not available.

• Do other filmography articles include birth and death dates? This does not seem like necessary information.

Some of the featured lists has this information. (Christopher Walken, Charlie Chaplin, Gene Kelly, David Lynch, Mary Pickford and David O. Selznick)

• I do not think the Key should have its own section heading.

Done

• Consider adding the Film and India portals.

Done

I wish I could be of more assistance. --Another Believer _(Talk) 21:29, 12 March 2013 (UTC)

Thanks for your inputs. - Vivvt • (Talk) 13:21, 13 March 2013 (UTC)

Comments from Crisco 1492

• Where is this sourced? I see tables, but no references.

• I think all the sources are mentioned under "General references". There is no footnote/superecripts though Those may not be needed as such.--Dwaipayan (talk) 15:34, 17 March 2013 (UTC)

• Perhaps, although I'm worried about a lack of verifiability. Mind you, some FLs use that format. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:36, 17 March 2013 (UTC)

• Make sure the tables meet WP:ACCESS

Though I have used ! scope="col" | and ! scope="row" | for all the tables, please let me know if I am missing anything which I am not aware of.

• What is an "advertisement film"

I believe it is lengthier than the usual advertisement duration. Though I did not find any hard definition as such, this is the way it is credited to him in his own book Satyajit Ray on Cinema here.

• Might want to use alt text.

I had used "An aged man wearing a white Kurta and right-hand kept on his chin" which I now prefixed with "A portrait of" for better clarity.

• Having his name in the original script and dates of birth (not year) is a bit much. It's about the filmography, not the director

Done. This was coming repeatedly, so I have taken it out.

• Added a citation needed tag.

Done. Provided the reference.

• Image is fine (no action required)

Ok

• Otherwise I've copyedited, be sure to check. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 10:18, 17 March 2013 (UTC)

Thanks for your copyediting. I have fixed some of your concerns. - Vivvt • (Talk) 22:33, 17 March 2013 (UTC)