Wikipedia:Peer review/Rock Show (Parks and Recreation)/archive1

Rock Show (Parks and Recreation) edit

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like to eventually nominate it for featured topic. I'm positive that the article is comprehensive and includes all the available sources that are out there, but it is in need of a thorough copy edit from an uninvolved editor. Please feel free to be thorough and nit-picky, and make any suggestions you might have that will help this survive the FAC process. Thanks! — Hun ter Ka hn 06:52, 7 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Finetooth comment: I don't see any particular problem with the prose. I found only one proofing error (an em dash that should have been an en dash), and I fixed it. The tools at the top of this review page find no errors, which is good. I find that I have only one suggestion. Since I've never seen any episodes of Parks and Recreation, I bring a kind of innocence to my reading. (I did review at least one other episode here at PR, so I'm not a total blank slate.) Would it be helpful to readers who have never seen any of the episodes to provide more general (series) context? The Plot section gives details of the episode but not of the series. For example, there's nothing in the Plot that explains who the Andy and Ann of the first sentence might be or what they have to do with the parks and recreation department. Perhaps you could turn the Plot section into two subsections, "Back story" and "Plot", or something like that. "Back story" could fill the reader in on what happened before the episode in question. Just a suggestion. Finetooth (talk) 01:36, 16 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]