Wikipedia:Peer review/Raphael/archive1

Raphael edit

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for October 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it effectively, fully, but succinctly covers Raphael's life.

Thanks, RossF18 (talk) 15:39, 1 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: I will review this as if it were headed for WP:FAC - it is a good start and here are some suggestions for improvement.

The lead is a bit sparse and could be expanded. The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way. Please see WP:LEAD

Every section except prints & workshop had a mention, but I have added these. Johnbod (talk) 20:55, 9 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Biggest problem I see with this is a lack of references. For example, everything but the first phrase in the first paragraph of the Urbino section is uncited. Or there are several direct quoatations without refs, for example He had already shown talent, according to Giorgio Vasari, who tells that Raphael had been "a great help to his father". My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.

Almost all points not otherwise refed are Jones & Penny. The example given is covered by the next ref. Citing Vasari pages is little use in practise as there are his 2 editions, and 50 million later editions, but I will add some. Obviously they are all from his Life of Raphael, unlerss stated otherwise. Johnbod (talk) 20:55, 9 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V

They are mostly museum images, but I will add names. There are now no "web-only" refs, in the sense the guideline uses, except the Amazon one which is dated. Johnbod (talk) 20:55, 9 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Per WP:MOS#Images, for portrait format images, "upright" can be used to make the image narrower if desired (when using "thumb").
Some places sould provide more context to the reader - there are several references to "the Pope" but it is not always clear (at least to me) which one is meant, for example in He was made a "Groom of the Chamber" of the Pope, which gave him status at court and an additional income. See WP:PCR

I have said "Pope Leo" etc at a few, though in fact I can't so far find whether it was Julius or Leo in this example - Vasari has it but doesn't say which did it. He was still Groom at his death anyway. Johnbod (talk) 22:23, 9 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 20:40, 9 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for these points Johnbod (talk) 20:55, 9 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]