Wikipedia:Peer review/Qamar Javed Bajwa/archive1

Qamar Javed Bajwa edit

I've listed this article for peer review because I am hoping to get this one up-to GA status.

Thanks, Saqib (talk) 16:01, 5 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I've done a, light, copy edit. My particular concerns would be around the, very positive, tone of the article. It doesn't appear to be a fully-balanced appraisal - I know nothing of the man, but I doubt he reached the position he has without attracting some negative commentary along the way. In particular, the "Public image" section reads more like a press release than a considered appraisal.
Also, there's a bit of "over-citing". In the first sentence of the last paragraph on his Military Career, you've 9 references. It's a short, factual sentence, and I really doubt it needs so many.
Best of luck with the GA. KJP1 (talk) 19:42, 21 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]