Wikipedia:Peer review/Phoenician sanctuary of Kharayeb/archive1

Phoenician sanctuary of Kharayeb

This is an article about an ancient temple that provided rare insight into the cultic practices of rural Phoenicians in the late Iron Age - Hellenistic Tyre hinterland. The article passed GAN and I believe that, with more input, it can reach FA status.

Thanks, el.ziade (talkallam) 23:34, 11 August 2023 (UTC)

This is not a peer review (I don't know any of the rules for that) just a reaction, as a lay reader:

• My overall reaction from this article is "oh they found an ancient birthing center!" everything about this place (and other mammisi) sounds like a contemporary fertility/birth/breastfeeding coaching center, staffed with "temple priestesses" who were also community midwives. Super cool!
• This is obviously a scholarly, tightly written article intended for people who are already familiar with Near Eastern archaeology. However as a lay reader from a distant part of the world I found myself clicking on a *lot* of vocabulary links bc I couldn't understand the article w/o them. That's part of what we're about, is luring people down Wikipedia rabbit holes, but I did slightly wish that there were parentheticals or introductory clauses explaining less-familiar terms inline. The ones *I* clicked on, which might not be unfamiliar to others were: uraei, pschent, favissa, southern Levant, ashlar, shendyt, coroplast, astragalus, Bes, and Kore.
• I also didn't have the background knowledge to entirely grok "initially dedicated to Astarte associated or identified with the goddess Isis" -- like I get it generally, who they are and that it was a Egyptian rewrite of an old Semitic deity, but my feeling is either just cut the mention of Isis or explain a lot more why that association is important.
• Re-read to standardize italicization of possibly-non-English words internally and/or with our articles: favissa, tesserae, mammisi -- the rule of thumb is if it's in English dictionaries it's considered an English word otherwise it's a "foreign language term" and should be italicized. (Our mammisi article currently doesn't have it italicized but it's not showing up in OED so I think maybe that should be changed.)
• Are there any free-use photos of the jewelry made by locals from materials from the site? I doubt it but I'd be curious to see!
• I think there's a cite error in Oggiano, Ida (2019)?
• The big difficult wish list items that would require volunteer help from Wikipedia:Graphics Lab or similar:
  • I'd love to see is an infographic-style timeline with beginning and end dates of the temple, and some markers of the various conquests and what other major stuff was going on in other parts of the world/Middle East around then.
  • Maybe a historical map showing the location of the temple near other cities of the era and/or the borders of the kingdom or empire?

Anyway, thanks for contributing this excellent article to Wikipedia and good luck with your journey to FA status! Best, jengod (talk) 18:45, 29 October 2023 (UTC)

Your input is invaluable jengod, you make very good points. I will revise the article based on your note, and it will be so much better for it. Thanks. el.ziade (talkallam) 22:30, 29 October 2023 (UTC)

@Jengod I made a few changes and I will try to find some images but I don't remember coming across any. I have also explained a few more terms inline. I will seek help to try to get more visuals, that was also a great suggestion. el.ziade (talkallam) 23:49, 29 October 2023 (UTC)

Bravo you! Thanks for humoring me personally with the explainers LOL. Ping me if I can help in some other way. Cheers jengod (talk) 23:57, 29 October 2023 (UTC)

Jengod I've been racking my brain for the past week, attempting to create a map that accurately reflects the historical dependencies of Tyre. However, the complex historical overlap between Tyre and Sidon's kingdoms (at some periods of time they were united), makes this exceptionally challenging. Even esteemed scholars in the field, such as Elayi, who specialize in Persian period mainland Phoenicia, grapple with providing an accurate territorial map. I will ask the maps team to help draft a map showing the location of the temple in regards to Tyre and Sidon, the nearby locality of Jemjim which is an agricultural settlement in close connection with the temple, the temple of Umm al-Amed which bears cultic resemblance to the Kharayeb sanctuary, and the newly excavated confirmed phoenician settlments in the immediate vicinity without specifying whether these areas belonged to Sidon or Tyre. el.ziade (talkallam) 14:08, 3 November 2023 (UTC)

Elias Ziade I think that sounds perfect. And it will be valuable to the 99 percent of readers who are not credentialed experts in historical Phoenicia. You're going above and beyond with your efforts. Bravo you. jengod (talk) 14:22, 3 November 2023 (UTC)

@Jengod I made an illustration of the temple. I have not heard from the Graphics lab for the map yet. el.ziade (talkallam) 21:23, 20 November 2023 (UTC)

I absolutely *LOVE* it. Very helpful for the reader. Nicely done. jengod (talk) 22:12, 20 November 2023 (UTC)

I was thinking about this again today and I'm personally so glad you added the graphic. Readership of Wikipedia articles is wacky in the audience is, like, 85 percent people just flipping through a magazine checking out whatever happens to be in there, and 15 percent extremely hard-core devotees of that very niche subject. I think the illustration is founded in scholarship so that it pleases the 15 percent but it is invaluable to the 85 percent who are coming to the topic totally cold. "worth a thousand words" and all that. So anyway yay you. jengod (talk) 19:06, 21 November 2023 (UTC)

STANDARD NOTE: I have added this PR to the Template:FAC peer review sidebar to get quicker and more responses. When this PR is closed, please remove it from the list. Also, consider adding the sidebar to your userpage to help others discover pre-FAC PRs, and please review other articles in that template. Thanks! Z1720 (talk) 00:42, 26 August 2023 (UTC)

• @Elias Ziade: This has been open for over a month without comment. Are you still interested in receiving feedback or can this be closed? Z1720 (talk) 16:12, 16 September 2023 (UTC)

  @Z1720 yes please. I can wait. el.ziade (talkallam) 16:53, 16 September 2023 (UTC)

• @Elias Ziade: I suggest asking for feedback from the Wikiprojects attached to this article and from editors who have passed FAs on similar topics. I also suggest reviewing articles at FAC to build goodwill amongst the FAC community: since you have successfully nominated 6 FAs, your feedback will be valuable to other editors. Z1720 (talk) 16:59, 16 September 2023 (UTC)

Borsoka

Location

• Consider linking Phoenician to Phonicia.
• Is Kharayeb a town or a village? (The first sentence and the second sentence contradict each other.)
• The Phoenician sanctuary of Kharayeb... Do we need to name the town/village?

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• I have removed the full name from the location section, thereby precluding the need to link 'Phoenicia' in this section. Indeed there is no need to name the town at every mention of the temple. Kharayeb is a town, I fixed it. el.ziade (talkallam) 14:47, 14 November 2023 (UTC)

• Now the section contains twe sentences. Consider expanding it by information about ancient Phoenicia, or merging it into the next section. Borsoka (talk) 02:14, 18 November 2023 (UTC)

Historical background and foundation

• I think the wikilink to "Archaeological excavation in Kharayeb " is not helpful.
• The earliest signs of agricultural use of the area in historical periods... Is the timeframe ("in historical period") necessary?
• Jemjin is first mentioned in section "Location".
• Consider linking "Persian" or "Persian period" to Achaemenid Empire.
• Consider specifying that the "Persian period" refers to the period when Phoenicia was under Persian rule.
• ...Phoenicia flourished economically and coastal city populations grew, necessitating resource optimization in their respective territories Consider rephrasing. For instance, "Phoenician economy flourished and the coastal cities' population grew, necessitating resource optimization"?
• The Persian policy aimed at promoting intensive agriculture within irrigated areas further supported this development. Consider rephrasing. For instance, "The Persians supported this development by promoting intensive agriculture and irrigation"?
• Introduce Tyre as a city ("the city of Tyre")
• ...the establishment of ancient rural agricultural centers... Is the adjective "ancient" necessary?
• ...the sanctuary of Kharayeb... Is the reference to Kharayeb necessary?
• ...occurs during a time... Why not past simple?

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• (1) link to Archaeology in Lebanon removed (2) deleted historical periods (3) Linked first occurrence of Jemjim (4) Linked persian period here (5) Explained Persian period as suggested (6-7) sentences rephrased as suggested (8) "the city of" Tyre added (9) Indeed 'ancient' is not needed (10) Let's keep this one (11) Fixed the tense, sorry thinking in French. el.ziade (talkallam) 15:23, 14 November 2023 (UTC)

Hellenistic period and decline

• Following Alexander the Great's conquest of the Achaemenid Empire.... Perhaps "Following Alexander the Great's conquest of the Persian Empire"? (In the previous sentences, Persian rule was mentioned.)
• Greek culture and language was spread... Perhaps "Greek culture and language spread/were spreading..."
• In Phoenicia ... the Phoenician coastal cities... One of the two references to Phoenicia is unnecessary.
• However, Greek influence did not fully reach the countryside. I am not sure that I understand the sentence. I think note "a" should also be rephrased.
• During this period, ... Is this necessary?
• ...and there was an intensive use of Greek and Ptolemaic Egypt-inspired imagery and artistic productions made in the heavily Hellenized coastal Phoenician cities. Consider rephrasing. For instance, "The new interior followed Greek and Ptolemaic patterns, and the sanctuary was decored by artifacts from the heavily Hellenized coastal cities"?
• ...the sanctuary of Kharayeb... Is the reference to Kharayeb necessary?
• ...as in the nearby Phoenician sanctuary of Umm al-Amad where Phoenician was also predominant, Is this necessary?
• ...all inscriptions in the sanctuary ... were written in Phoenician, ... indicating that the locals remained attached to their ... traditions, and deities. I do not understand why the fact that the inscriptions were written in Phoenician show that the locals remained attached to their tradtions and deities.
• ..., indicating that cultic activity at the sanctuary ceased, The same participle ("indicating") is used twice in two consecutive sentences.

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• (1) Replaced Achaemenid for consistency, (2) was spread, (3) Phoenician coastal cities, (4.a) I rephrased the sentence, (4.b) Note a is a quote, I added the marks, (5) I would rather keep "During this period" if you don't mind to connect the passages and provide better context. 19:11, 14 November 2023 (UTC)
• (6) This has less to do with decoration and more about the adoption of foreign coroplastic practices, subjects, and motifs. I have revised the sentence accordingly. (7) Yes, unfortunately I would rather keep the name as is because I had multiple instances in the past where reviewers asked for more precision. (8) I acknowledge that the reference to Umm al-Amad may seem tangential to the immediate focus of this article. However, it aligns with the contemporary emphasis in Phoenician studies on exploring regional contexts rather than isolated ruins. This is especially pertinent here, given that both Kharayeb sanctuary and Umm al-Amad are situated within the territory of Tyre. This nuanced approach caters to a more advanced readership by providing a broader understanding of the cultural and historical dynamics within the region. (9) Rephrased for clarity. (10) changed the verb. el.ziade (talkallam) 13:50, 16 November 2023 (UTC)

• Concurrently, there emerged in the heavily Hellenized coastal Phoenician cities, a surge in the utilization of Greek and Ptolemaic Egypt-inspired imagery, subjects, and artistic motifs. Consider rephrasing. For me, the sentence is out of context, and I think it is also ungrammatical (but I am not a native speaker). Borsoka (talk) 02:54, 18 November 2023 (UTC)

Modern discovery

• ...and its neighboring localities... Delete.
• Some of these findings were documented by orientalists. Is this necessary?
• Consider linking "marble slab" to stone slab. (This suggestion may only reflect the limits of my English vocabulary. :) )
• The locals of Kharayeb referred to the area where the Phoenician sanctuary was later discovered as Juret el-Khawatem ('the pit of the rings'). The same info is mentioned in section "Location". One of the two references is unnecessary.
• Consider linking "beads" to Bead. (Perhaps, this suggestion also reflects the limits of my English vocabulary.)
• Archaeological activities at the site were halted for over two decades... Do we know why?

More to come. So far, an excellent article. Borsoka (talk) 17:12, 13 November 2023 (UTC)

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• (1) Done, (2) I believe context is important, but not necessary. Before the excavation of the sanctuary, the nearby, and historically connected Jemjim was known to scholars. The two places are connected.el.ziade (talkallam) 13:55, 16 November 2023 (UTC)
• (3) Stone slab linked, (4) the parenthetical explanation was indeed redundant. moved the other endonyms to the notes. (5) Bead linked, (6) I have rephrased the passage, the verb "halted" implies that ongoing work was stopped. This is not the case, other sites were given priority at that time. el.ziade (talkallam) 09:46, 17 November 2023 (UTC)

@Borsoka Thank you for your very good observations. I will be addressing these shortly. el.ziade (talkallam) 13:55, 14 November 2023 (UTC)

Temple style

• The cultic building of the sanctuary of Kharayeb follows the pre-Classical Phoenician temple design, the predominant temple type in Phoenicia and its dependencies. 1. I think the reference to the culting building is unnecessary ("The sanctuary of Kharayeb follows..."/ "The sanctuary's architecture follows...") 2. Could the term "pre-Classical"/"pre-Classical Phoenician" be linked?
• ...pre-Classical Phoenician temple design ... Iron Age Phoenician temples... Does the article refer to the same style?
• Is the link to "holy-of-holies" helpful? Borsoka (talk) 05:50, 15 November 2023 (UTC)

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• (1.1) Removed "cultic building of the" (1.2) I cannot link yet, I have quite an article down the pipeline, will link when I publish (2) Iron age is definitely pre-classical (3) No not helpful at all, you are absolutely right. I rephrased. el.ziade (talkallam) 10:00, 17 November 2023 (UTC)

• The connection between pre-Classical and Iron Age is still unclear for me. The phrasing of the two consecutive sentences suggests that they are different. Borsoka (talk) 03:30, 18 November 2023 (UTC)

Description

• Archaeological evidence indicates that the Phoenician sanctuary at Kharayeb was modified in multiple phases. Consider deleting "Phoenician" and "at Kharayeb".
• Are Iron Age II and Persian period identical? Iron Age II has not been mentioned before.
• In this first phase, at least one cultic statue was present in the sacred area. A fragment of a small-sized statue dating back to the first half of the 6th century BC was discovered 20 m (66 ft) northwest of the sanctuary favissa. Consider consolidating the two sentence. I assume the second sentence explains the first one.
• ...the Amrit favissa... Perhaps "...the favissa at the Phoenician port of Amrit..."?
• ...this statue... The statue from Kharayeb or from Amrit?
• Iron Age II or Late Iron Age?
• ..., south of Tyre Is this necessary? (The town is mentioned and introduced in section "Hellenistic period and decline".)
• This phase... I would say "The Hellenic phase..."

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• (1) Done, (2) Iron Age II (Late iron age) precedes the Persian period. I have included a periodization table for readers who are not familiar with the terms. (3) Sentences merged, (4) sentence modified (5) detail added (6) Replaced late Iron age (7) removed ", south of Tyre", (8) done. el.ziade (talkallam) 14:35, 17 November 2023 (UTC)

• A temple was initially built... Does the sentence say that "The first temple was built..."? Was it a temple, a sanctuary or a cult building? Borsoka (talk) 03:42, 18 November 2023 (UTC)

Artifacts and finds

• In addition to the architectural, decorative, and cultic items mentioned above, the successive excavations at the Phoenician Sanctuary of Kharayeb have yielded a wealth of artifacts, including thousands of terracotta figurines, and miniature vessels that provide insight into the religious practices of the local Phoenician population. I would shorten the text: "In addition to the architectural, decorative, and cultic items, excavations have yielded a wealth of artifacts, including thousands of terracotta figurines, and miniature vessels that provide insight into the religious practices of the native population."

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• Done el.ziade (talkallam) 15:33, 17 November 2023 (UTC)

Votive terracotta figurines

• ...in Phoenicia (Sarepta, Tyre, Tell Keisan, Achziv, Dor), and Cyprus Perhaps: "at the Phoenician sites in Sarepta, Tyre, Tell Keisan, Achziv, Dor, and in Cyprus"?
• There were numerous figurines of schoolchildren and theater masks indicating that the sanctuary may have also frequented by worshipers from coastal cities. Some explanation? (For me, it is not clear why schoolchildren and theater masks represent worshipers from cities.)

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• (1) By Phoenician I mean Phoenician proper, if I go by your suggestion it will not be factually accurate because Cyprus is an Island. (2) I addressed this too. el.ziade (talkallam) 15:53, 17 November 2023 (UTC)

Dedication and function

• It was not possible for scholars to identify the deity worshiped at the Phoenician sanctuary of Kharayeb, ... Perhaps "Scholars have not identified the deity worshiped at the sanctuary..."?
• Delete "however". Borsoka (talk) 13:59, 15 November 2023 (UTC)

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• Done el.ziade (talkallam) 09:15, 17 November 2023 (UTC)

• Borsoka I have addressed all the items. Please let me know if you have more suggestions. el.ziade (talkallam) 15:54, 17 November 2023 (UTC)

Lead

• ...is a historic temple in Southern Lebanon. Consider mentioning and linking the town of Kharayeb in the first sentence.
• It underwent modifications and expansions during the Hellenistic period. Consider deleting. The history of the building is detailed in the lead.
• This Hellenistic period temple... Perhaps "This Hellenistic temple..."?
• ...(representations of a sacred snake used as a symbol of sovereignty and divinity)... Perhaps a reference to Ancient Egypt? (I think uraeus was the symbol of sovereignty in Ancient Egypt.)
• ...Iron Age II and Persian period... The phrasing suggests that they are not the same.
• The sanctuary of Kharayeb... Delete the reference to Kharayeb.
• The Phoenician sanctuary of Kharayeb's deity... Perhaps "The deity worshipped at the sanctuary/The deity to whom the sanctuary was dedicated..."?
• ...due to the absence of specific god names in the inscriptions Perhaps "as no gods are named/mentioned in the insriptions"?
• Current interpretation suggest... Specify ("Child figurines unearthed during the excavations suggest..."}} (Current is a relative category, and should be avoided.)

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• (1 and 2) done,(3) It is not a Hellenistic temple, (4) done, (5) they aren't, (6 and 7) done, (8) inscriptions are fragmentary and the recovered parts don't contain any god names, an example is the invocation on the statue base. I modified the sentence to be clearer. (9) Done. el.ziade (talkallam) 19:34, 19 November 2023 (UTC)

Pictures

• File:HellenisticFigurineDuckBearer TyreLebanon NationalMuseumOfBeirut RomanDeckert25122019.jpg

I think a PD tag for the original work (the figurine) is needed.

• File:Phoenician masonry.png

A reference to a reliable source is needed.

• File:Terracotta Figurines of the Iron Age 1.jpg

I think a PD tag for the original works (the figurines) is needed.

• File:Hellenistic figurines in Beirut Airport.jpg

I think a PD tag for the original works (the figurines) is needed.

I completed the review. I made some copyedits in the article. Feel free to revert any of them. Thank you for this thoroughly researched and interesting article. Consider asking for a copyedit from the Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors before the FAC process. Borsoka (talk) 04:23, 18 November 2023 (UTC)

@Borsoka Thank you for the review :) el.ziade (talkallam) 11:56, 21 November 2023 (UTC)