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Wikipedia:Peer review/Pershing House/archive1

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Pershing House edit

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I created the list 10 years ago, and upgraded the table today with some better formatting and abbreviation keys for the military ranks and cemeteries. Although several editors have made minor adjustments over the years, the introductory paragraphs have not changed much. A peer review by an editor from the Military History project would be helpful.

Thanks, — Maile (talk) 16:07, 3 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]

FYI - I added some content where necessary in the Notes section. The one I'm disappointed about, is Ralph Wilson Hoyt. There is absolutely nothing about him, except a position he held after leaving command of Fort Sam Houston. The names and occupant dates listed come from the NRHP form. Since it only gives years not months, maybe Hoyt only lasted a short time and then moved on. — Maile (talk) 21:24, 10 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@Kavyansh: Thank you for your help. I believe I'm ready to put this up at FLC now. — Maile (talk) 18:54, 11 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Kavyansh edit

Thank you for inviting me to take part in this peer review. Firstly, answering the question you raised on your talk page, I do not think the existence of red links would, in any way, be a reason for archival of the FLC. List of Gillingham F.C. players (1–24 appearances), Chris's nominated list, was archived in 2016 solely because it had a lot of red-links. However, last year, it un-controversially passed the FLC. So, per recent precedent, I do not think it should be an issue. Detailed comments:

Lead
  • The Pershing House is located on Fort Sam Houston, in the Bexar County city of San Antonio in the U.S. state of Texas. — why not simplify to "The Pershing House is located on Fort Sam Houston in the Bexar County, San Antonio, Texas." I don't feel we need to mention that Texas is a U. S. state.
Done
  • After being admitted to the Union in 1845 — specify that Texas was admitted to the Union in 1845
Done
  • Architect Alfred Giles (1853–1920) was contracted — who contracted him?
Done - It had to have been the Federal Government, but since the source does not say that, I did some rewording.
  • and air conditioning. [3] — extra space
Done
  • at a cost of $17,076, — suggesting to add {{Inflation}}
Done
  • US Army v. United States Army — consistency needed
Done
  • Mexican–American War is linked twice in the lead
Done
  • Medal of Honor should be linked
Done
  • Almost half — on a more formal note, I'll say "Approximately half"
Removed entirely
  • Almost half of the base commandants were buried in Arlington National Cemetery — [citation needed]
Removed, but it was not an issue of source, but a matter of counting the Burial column. 26 are buried at Arlington, but 29 are buried elsewhere. No need to have that comment there, anyway.
  • an honor he shared — can we re-phrase a bit more neutral?
Done
  • I guess George Washington is notable enough to have a link.
Done
Table
  • Where no image is available, I'll suggest adding {{center|—}}
Done
  • "Frederick Dent Grant" row's citations should be center-aligned
Done
  • The citations for "Jesse M. Lee" row is a case of WP:Citation overkill. Same with "Lawrence Joseph Lincoln" row.
Done
  • Union general during the Civil war — 'w' should be capitalized.
Done
  • American Civil War — We don't need to mention 'American' again-and-again.
Done
  • Commissioner of Police of New York City. (1895–1897) — years after full-stop?
Done
Done
  • Retired in 1917 — should be "He retired in 1917"
Done
  • Why no notes for "Willard Ames Holbrook", "John L. Hines", and other?
  • Spanish–American War, U occupation of Veracruz, — something is missing
Done
  • WW I — should really be "World War I". Same with "WWII"
Done
  • USCINCSO — the abbreviation is never used again, Do we need to define it?
Done
Done
  • The {{Commons}} box in the "External links" could be converted to {{Commons inline|Category:Pershing House|Pershing House}} to save space.
Done
  • "Zenas R. Bliss" row links his burial place, ANC, to African National Congress. Now I don't think he (or anyone else) can be buried there.
Done
Images
Done
Done - This one is much better
Removed
Removed
Removed
  • This is not a complete image review.
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