Wikipedia:Peer review/Our World (American TV series)/archive1

Our World (American TV series) edit

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for July 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I think that other than the gaps in the episode guide it's close to GA class. General comments are welcome as always but specifically, is not having an entry for each episode under the "topics" column going to be a deal-killer for ever reaching GA?

Thanks, Otto4711 (talk) 16:44, 14 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here.

I think this is fairly close to GA, although the lead also needs work. I asume it is just difficult to find the missing episode information? WP:WIAGA criteria 3 says "It is broad in its coverage: (a) it addresses the main aspects of the topic" so it would be up to the reviewer to decide if the missing summaries should be there. I think I would be inclined to want it consistent - if some suimmaries are there, then for GA I would think all would be. You might want to ask on the GAN talk page about this too.
The lead needs more information - it is supposed to be a summary of the whole article and a brief overview too. I would make the first sentence longer and add the dates it aired (range) and number of episodes. Please see WP:LEAD
In the references, "pp." means more than one page follows, but it is often used for just one page (so pp. 3-7, but p. 62). There are also some newspaper refs without pages (current 31 and 33, may be others) that should have them
The Apollo 11 mission was July 16 to 24, so that seems not to fit this: Try to Remember covered roughly the same timeframe as the pilot episode of Our World, August 11-17
A model article is often useful for ideas on structure and examples to follow. There are many televison program FAs at Wikipedia:Featured_articles#Media although I am not sure if any are news shows.
The article has many short (one or two sentence) paragraphs that could be combined with others or possibly expanded, in order to flow better.
The Cancellation and PBS section begins oddly - I would start with the reason why the letter campaign was waged (presumably low ratings and rumors of cancellation).
Would it help to compare the ratings the show got on ABC to PBS program ratings - my guess is that PBS shows were rated lower than most ABC shows at the time.
For April 12, 1961, I would mention this was the day Yuri Gagarin was the first person in space

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 16:11, 21 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]