Wikipedia:Peer review/New York Knicks seasons/archive1

New York Knicks seasons

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for October 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want this to become a featured list. Any suggestions for the lead would be particularly helpful. Please note that the number of red links in the Knicks seasons column will be reduced significantly while this is here.

Thanks, Giants2008 (17-14) 16:45, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: I do not write sports articles usually, but here are some suggestions for improvement.

• A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow - there are no basketball season list, so I note there are several American football (NFL) seasons FLs. See as one example Chicago Bears seasons.
  • There actually are two NBA season FLs - Los Angeles Lakers seasons and Chicago Bulls seasons. Some of the formatting is based on these lists, but I've tried to design the lead a little differently. The Lakers list has one huge and one small paragraph, while the Bulls list has a seperate section for team history, which I'm not a fan of. I did like the all-time win record from the Lakers list and added a sentence to the lead of this. While I'm here, I should say that the Bears list recently passed an FLRC with issues that were left unaddressed; there's still a cite tag in the notes. Giants2008 (17-14) 23:50, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
• I think it would help to have the lead more in chronological order - start with the founding of the team and work forward (as the Bears article does)
  • The recent trend for season FLs is to have a definition of the team as the first sentence, with facts on conference and division alignment and current stadium in the lead; some also give all-time records. After that comes the general history. Since that appears to be the current standard, I'd like to follow it if possible. Giants2008 (17-14) 23:50, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
• If possible, shouldn't the first sentence have something about the seasons in it, and shouldn't the name of the article be in bold if possible - see WP:LEAD
  • Actually, list names in bold are now discouraged at FLC. The first sentence of most new FLs, as I said earlier, is a straight definition, just like a regular article. Giants2008 (17-14) 23:50, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
• It seems like the lead does this pretty much already, but anything not in the list that is in the lead needs a ref.
  • I checked this and think I got everything that needed a cite. The sentence I added has one as well. Giants2008 (17-14) 23:50, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
• Note b Before the 1970–71 season, the Eastern Division was renamed the Eastern Conference and split into the Atlantic and Central divisions. probably needs a ref
  • After an unsuccessful Internet search for a good reference, I put in a request at the NBA WikiProject. Unfortunately, I don't have any books on this. Giants2008 (17-14) 23:50, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
    • No response yet, but I managed to find two cites for it, from the league and team websites respectively. Changed the note a bit too. Giants2008 (17-14) 22:35, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
• Seems OK to me otherwise - agree that the lead needs work.
  • Thanks for the review! Once a reference is found for the one note, I think this is ready to be nominated. Giants2008 (17-14) 23:50, 4 November 2008 (UTC)

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 04:38, 4 November 2008 (UTC)