Wikipedia:Peer review/Mount Rainier/archive1

Mount Rainier edit

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it is very sleek looking and improvements to it have been added for since it reached GA. Please review so we can consider upgrading it to A or even FA

Thanks, Novus Orator 06:09, 20 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Jappalang
  • Checklinks (link in the toolbox on the right of this peer review page) shows a deadlink and a soft 404 (both federal sites); please fix them.
  • "Its earliest lavas are over 840,000 years old ..."
    Is this statement correct? Aside from the curious possessive wording (does a mountain own lava), this conjures an imagery of 840,000-year-old molten rock that is still flowing over Washington's countryside.
  • "Its lahars have reached all the way to Puget Sound."
    Would be much better to add the distance (not everyone knows where Puget Sound is in relation to Mount Rainier).
  • "... which went all the way to the site of ..."
    "... which reached the site of ..."?
  • "According to Cory Zellers, ..."
    What makes Zellers a respected expert that we should listen to?
  • "... a geologist with RH2 ..."
    What is RH2?
  • Several uncited statements in the Human history, Subsidiary peaks, and Climbing and recreation sections.
  • "... under most strictly prominence-based rules."
    "... under most strict prominence-based rules."
  • "About three mountaineering deaths each year occur due to ..."
    "Due to" is wrongly used here; please rephrase the sentence.
  • What is the whole point of a single-sentence (that is 17 words long) section for the state quarter?
  • Check your inline citation format. I am seeing mistakes such as periods after cites and spaces in between, e.g. "... that would threaten the whole Puyallup River valley.[8].", and "... is accessible only via the caves.[12] [13]".
  • Be consistent in the formatting of the sources. Some do not have the level of details as others, e.g. ref 29, which is simply listed as Rainier.
  • What makes Peakbagger.com, howbert.netherweb.com, and www.skiingthebackcountry.com reliable sources? What makes Cory Zellers, an undergraduate,[1] a respected source of information?
  • Per WP:CITE#IMAGE, link the image to the page it was displayed on, not to the image itself. Where was File:Mount Rainier over Tacoma.jpg displayed? This is crucial as the USGS uses certain images on the permission of their copyright holders; not all images on their site are the government organization's. Added USGS links and permission text. Walter Siegmund (talk) 22:26, 9 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Please give the publication details of The Great Northwest (1888) to let others verify the nature of File:MountTahoma.JPG. If the book is not a US publication, then the laws of its country of origin (publication) has to be considered for its placement on Commons.
  • Per http://www.usmint.gov/policy/?flash=yes&action=TermsOfUse, "Designs of the new quarter-dollar coins issued under the 50 State Quarters Program may be derivative works of designs covered by third-party copyrights licensed to or assigned to the U.S. Mint, or in some cases may be covered by third-party copyrights assigned to the Mint. You should not assume anything on this site is necessarily in the public domain." Although the engraver of this coin (File:2007 WA Proof.png) is Charles Vickers, a US Mint employee,[2] the design is purely Washington State Quarter Advisory Commission's (a state body, not federal).[3][4][5] The coin's design is copyrighted to the state; thus, it is not in the public domain.

Structural-wise, I felt this article was a bit "cold". Reading Rainier in such technical terms at the start just made me think of a big lump of rock. Perhaps, the article should start first by introducing where Rainier is, in terms of location to a human populace and recent events, then go into definition of the mountain, history, and such. Regardless, please fix the more serious concerns (reliability of sources, image copyrights, citations), then get a copy-edit before attempting higher level of assessment. Jappalang (talk) 05:10, 25 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]