Wikipedia:Peer review/Mokṣa (Jainism)/archive1

Moksa (Jainism) edit

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I've listed this article for peer review because…Moksa is one of the most important concept of Jainism and hence this article needs to be rated/improved from a broader perspective

Thanks, Anish (talk) 12:17, 14 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: This is the last of the five Jainism articles that were left at Peer Review which I have reviewed - since there are some similarities between them, I made some similar comments. You may want to ask for other reviewer's comments at WP:PRV to get some more feedback. I also found this to be an interesting article and hope these suggestions help improve it:

I note that Moksa is a redirect to Moksha and that Moksha (disambiguation) does not list this article, but should.
The lead needs to summarize the whole article. My rule of thumb is to see that each section header is at least mentioned in the lead, even if only a phrase or word. So, for example, Samyaktva and Human Birth are sections, but they are not in the lead. The current lead is one very long paragraph and could be split into two paragraphs or perhaps expanded to three. See WP:LEAD
References come right after the punctuation and need a space following them, so "...blah.[1] Blah" See WP:CITE
The article needs many more references - any quote or attribution should be sourced, and the whole section "The concept of individuality" and several others have zero refs (See WP:V
The "Siddhasila" section is one sentence - can it be expanded or combined with another section?
Avoid jargon where possible or explain it. Provide context for the reader as well - who or what is Umasvati? Define unfamiliar terms See WP:JARGON and WP:PCR
Duplicate references can be cited repeatedly using <ref name ="blah">ref details</ref> the first time, then the next time you want to cite that, just write <ref name ="blah"/>
Per the WP:MOS, please do not repeat the title of the article in section headers so as one example "Milestones towards mokṣa" could just be "Milestones" since we already know the article is about Moksa.
The article needs to be copyedited

Here are a few points that would apply to all the Jain article I reviewed:

A model article often helps - find a religion or philosophy FA or GA to follow for ideas, structure, style, etc.
Make sure the references meet WP:RS

Hope this helps, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 16:17, 19 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]