Wikipedia:Peer review/Michael Sheen/archive1

Michael Sheen edit

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I've been trying to get it to Featured Article status. Please let me know which areas need more work before I apply.

Thanks, Popeye191 (talk) 15:59, 24 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: I know and like this actor from films - thanks for an interesting article on him. Here are some suggestions for improvement with an eye to FAC.n

  • A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow. There are many FAs on actors that may be useful models - see Wikipedia:Featured_articles#Media_biographies
  • The article has several short (one or two sentence) paragraphs which disrupt the narrative flow. Where possible these should be combined with others or perhaps expanded. As one example, the first paragraph of the lead is only one sentence.
Have now combined most of these paragraphs. Popeye191 (talk) 17:07, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • The lead is pretty short and I am not sure that it summarizes the whole article per WP:LEAD.
Have added more information to the lead section Popeye191 (talk) 20:11, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way, but there seems to be no mention of the radio work, public life or personal life sections in the lead.
  • There are also places in the article that do not have refs and need them. For example, the whole Radio career section has no refs.
References now added for all such sentences Popeye191 (talk) 13:22, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref. If a sentence follows a ref and has no ref of its own, it needs a ref. This would be a real problem at FAC. Examples follow:
    • Also in 1993, he appeared in the world premiere of Harold Pinter's Moonlight at the Almeida Theatre.
    • The film opened the 2011 Cannes Film Festival and has become Woody Allen's highest-ever grossing film.[92] Also in 2011, he starred in Beautiful Boy, an independent drama focusing on the aftermath of a school shooting, and voiced a character in a Doctor Who episode written by Neil Gaiman.
    • In other 2010 film work, he provided the voices for characters in Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland and Disney's Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue and appeared as a terrorist in Unthinkable.
    • Also that year, he had a supporting role in Kingdom of Heaven, made a cameo appearance in The League of Gentlemen's Apocalypse and starred in a short film, The Open Doors.
    • He starred in two other BBC television productions in 2006, playing H.G. Wells in HG Wells: War with the World and Nero in Ancient Rome: The Rise and Fall of an Empire. He also had a supporting role in Blood Diamond as an unscrupulous diamond dealer.
  • There are also organizational issues with the article. In general it is best to organize the material so it is easiest to follow. In many cases this is in chronological order (and the Theater and Movie sections are basically in chronolgical order). However the Personal life section is in (as near as I can tell) reverse chronlogical order - so we start in the present day in LA with his daughter, but at this point the reader doesn't know about his daughter yet. The section goes back in time until we learn that his daughter is from his relationship with Kate Beckinsale - I think I would start with this and go forward in time instead.
I have now tried to rectify this problem Popeye191 (talk) 23:12, 18 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • I am not sure about the split between discussing his screen career and then his stage career. This is a place where it is your call, but it may help to look at model FAs and see how they organize the career sections. I know of some FAs that split career with very different jobs (so Jackie Chan talks about his movie and music careers separately. I tend to think of stage and screen and radio work as all acting, so I am not sure this should be two sections. In any case, to me I would put his stage work first since it comes first chronlogically.
Stage work is now first; I think I am too familiar with the article as it is now to combine stage and screen work - it's definitely an option for later on though, thanks Popeye191 (talk) 23:12, 18 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • I would also make sure to provide context to the reader per WP:PCR. For example when did he start school / college / university? Or when did he move to LA?
Have tried to clarify these points Popeye191 (talk) 23:12, 18 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • I do not think of narrating audio books as radio work and would change that header.
Noted Popeye191 (talk) 23:12, 18 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • The list of roles might be better split into its own sub article - there are mutiple FLs like this.
Will leave for the moment but you're right - I've had a look at some FLs and the filmographies of Woody Allen and Christopher Walken are good examples Popeye191 (talk) 20:11, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Spell out abbreviations after first use of the full name, so Royal Academy of Dramatic Art (RADA)
Fixed Popeye191 (talk) 23:12, 18 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Watch out for WP:OVERLINKing - Royal Academy of Dramatic Art is linked twice in two paragraphs
Second link removed Popeye191 (talk) 23:12, 18 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see Wikipedia:Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches. (This is a general warning given in all peer reviews, in view of previous problems that have risen over copyvios.)

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 20:28, 18 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Jappalang

Note that I based the following on the 05:30, 9 September 2011 (UTC) version. I have not followed any recent updates.

I believe if this article is submitted to FAC, a lot of its sources are going to come under fire. Please refer to Wikipedia:Wikipedia Signpost/2008-07-28/Dispatches and Wikipedia:Wikipedia Signpost/2008-06-26/Dispatches and prepare to prove the reliability of the source used (if they are truly reliable).

  • What makes talktalk.co.uk a reliable source
Removed Popeye191 (talk) 23:10, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Removed Popeye191 (talk) 21:36, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • What makes Film School Rejects reliable?
Third-party publications from reliable sources support the site as a self-published source - for example, Fox Searchlight.Popeye191 (talk) 23:00, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • What makes Hitfix a reliable source?
Third-party publications from reliable sources support the site as a self-published source - for example, Variety Popeye191 (talk) 22:54, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • What makes TV Fanatic a reliable source?
Removed Popeye191 (talk) 22:46, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • What makes iofilm a reliable source?
Paul Fischer is a member of the press with a reputation for reliability, having worked for DarkHorizons.com for ten years. DH's About Us page claims to be "one of the most fair, balanced and objective sites in the field, one that avoids the hyperbole of over editorialising. It also delivers the news with a voice of authority and experience thanks to its editor Garth Franklin who has blazed the trail in the online publishing field since the Internet's early days back in the mid-1990's." Popeye191 (talk) 22:44, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • What makes this fansite posting from rachelmonline via heartmichaelsheen a reliable source? (might even be LINKVIO)
New ref with a more reliable source Popeye191 (talk) 17:15, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
No longer linked to Popeye191 (talk) 21:42, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • What makes www.high50.com/ a reliable source?
Michael Prodger is a member of the press with a reputation for reliability. He is a former Booker judge and former literary editor of The Sunday Telegraph.Popeye191 (talk) 22:37, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • What makes Buddy TV a reliable source?
Removed Popeye191 (talk) 22:31, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • IMDb is an unreliable source. Why is it used?
Can't find any mention of IMDb - must have been removed since the version you reviewed Popeye191 (talk) 21:38, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • What makes Collider.com a reliable source?
This is a primary source so I would rather not remove it. Collider's About Us page states that they offer "a mix of up-to-the-second links to major stories and bracing original content provided by heavily connected industry insiders". Reliable third party publications such as MTV support collider.com as a reliable, self-published source.Popeye191 (talk) 22:29, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • What makes TheaterMania.com a reliable source?
Removed. Popeye191 (talk) 22:21, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • What makes The Big Issue in Scotland a reliable source?
Again,this is a primary source so I would rather not remove it. The Big Issue's About Us page notes that they are are monitored by the International Network of Street Papers and that they are a "limited company which produces and distributes" the magazine. Reliable third party publications such as The Guardian support the Big Issue as a reliable, self-published source. Popeye191 (talk) 22:21, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Beckinsale confirmed the story in a broadsheet interview. I've now added this reference Popeye191 (talk) 12:01, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • What makes Contactmusic.com a reliable source?
Removed Popeye191 (talk) 13:19, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • What makes The National Ledger a reliable source?
Removed Popeye191 (talk) 13:19, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Removed Popeye191 (talk) 21:51, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Unable to access www.menshikov.ru
Removed Popeye191 (talk) 22:02, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Furthermore, please be careful over linking to sites that host transcripts of copyrighted material (per WP:LINKVIO). Unless they received permission to do so (or are put up by the copyright holders themselves), they are not to be linked. Jappalang (talk) 01:37, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your input, it's appreciated Popeye191 (talk) 08:09, 19 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]