Wikipedia:Peer review/List of G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero vehicles/archive1

List of G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero vehicles edit

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review, because I have put a lot of work into making this list as comprehensive as possible, and I would like to submit the article for Featured List status. Thanks! Fortdj33 (talk) 15:04, 13 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Bradley0110

The main issues I see with the list as it stands is the lead and the format of the main list. The scope of the list is well-defined and the overall descriptions of the products are comprehensive. For a list targeting FL-class, the lead is too short. Can you include further information regarding the style of the whole toy line, or sales figures? Do Bellomo or Santelmo have any other information?

Some issues with prose:

  • "Over the next three decades, various toys in that fictional universe have been released." Where has "fictional universe" come from? The toys have been released in the real world haven't they? Why not just say "Over the next three decades, various toys have been released"?
  • "The Avalanche (not to be confused with the character Avalanche)" Is this confusion likely given that it has already been stated the list is about vehicles?
  • The format of the main list stands out; there are nearly 60 very short sections, all of which offer a year of release and a short description of the product, and some list a driver toy accessory. This means you're left with a very long contents table before you even begin the list. There are ways of clearing this up: You can list just the L2 headings in the contents by putting {{TOC limit|limit=2}} below the lead. Alternatively, you could arrange the list alphabetically. Alternatively you could tabulate the whole thing, allowing users to sort the list by the name of the toy, the year of release, and by the accessory if there is one. e.g.:
G.I. Joe vehicles with drivers
Vehicle name Year introduced Packaged with driver Description
Arctic Blast 1989 Windchill This cold-weather vehicle featured a progressive air suspension system, two "Chain Gang" 30mm Gatling guns, two 7.62mm double-barreled machine guns, and side mounted surface missiles.
Avalanche 1990 Cold Front It featured a digital ice mine deployer, a side-swipe missile-firing pulse cannon, six heat-seeking surface-to-air missiles, and a removable scout craft for arctic reconnaissance.
A.W.E. Striker 1985 Crankcase The All-Weather/Environment Striker featured a removable engine, a 10 round 70mm launcher for projectiles, off-road tires and springing 4WD suspension. Although the release of this toy pre-dates it, it is quite similar to the M1040/41 Fast Attack Vehicle. In 1992, the cannon was replaced by a water-firing gun, and the vehicle was recast as the Eco-Striker, as part of the Eco-Warriors line.
  • Some statements are unreferenced, such as the second and third (short) paragraphs of Conquest X-30 and H.I.S.S.
  • Your reference formating is inconsistent: You use short format for Bellomo in "Notes" but long for Santelmo in the same section each time. Santelmo should be in the short format too for consistency.

Bradley0110 (talk) 22:17, 26 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your suggestions, they are very much appreciated! The lead paragraph and unreferenced statements for Conquest X-30 and H.I.S.S. were written by the creator of the page before I took over adding content, so I just left them in, but I will be happy to follow up and expand on them. The main reason that each of the major vehicles has its own header, is because there are several links which redirect to this page, and point to the specific section header for that link. I'm not opposed to putting everything into a table, but I'm not sure that the table format is right for every section of the list, since some have more information than others. I agree with using the same format for Santelmo that I did for Bellomo, but I'm afraid that will just make any references other than those two stick out even more. Thanks again, and I will start to implement some of the other changes as soon as possible! Fortdj33 (talk) 12:35, 27 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
You can use {{anchor}} templates within a table that will be recognised by redirects and will serve the same function as a header (e.g. {{anchor|Arctic Blast}}. Bradley0110 (talk) 16:35, 27 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]