Wikipedia:Peer review/Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII/archive1
Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII edit
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… the article, despite the fact that it is an unreleased game, still feels in a relatively unpolished state. The gameplay section, and I think the wording of the lead, need a once-over. Plus, extra eyes to look over the development section and add new content if it is available would be more than welcome.
Thanks, ProtoDrake (talk) 22:29, 30 October 2013 (UTC)
Comments
Lead
- "and eventually unveiled" - was unveiled
Gameplay
- You mention the Wildlands without ever saying what they are until the setting section
- Link Chocobo
- What is Eradia?
- It sounds like the world's timer is running out in real time, and by giving Eradia to Yggdrasil, you fill back up the meter, but you never actually say that in the gameplay section, or mention that there is the 13-day timer- this is the first section, so it can't be relying on details that don't get mentioned until the plot section.
- Re-link FF13 and FF13-2 and Lightning in gameplay; links in the lead don't count towards overlinking.
Characters
- "via wireless com" (munnicator)
- " Noel Kreiss, guilty over his role" - feeling guilty
Reception
- If you're going to have the expand tag on the gameplay section (which can't really be expanded till the game comes out) maybe you should put in a tagged, empty reception section (since it comes out tomorrow in JP.)
Other
- Refs look good, though Famitsu should be italicized in 38 and the name needs to be flipped in 18
- Images and FURs are great; maybe add a free one of a developer like is in the other two articles
- Drop the caps on the external links
--PresN 23:03, 20 November 2013 (UTC
- Done most of what you pointed out, I think. I can't really find a developer image from the right time. I also spotted another author name mistake in the references. Glad you found the refs alright. I had a devil of a time finding a few of them. Mind you, I think we're in for a real headache when the story section needs to be written. I've seen enough of the game to know it will need some careful handling to make sure it doesn't do a Final Fantasy VII on us. --ProtoDrake (talk) 13:20, 23 November 2013 (UTC)
Suggestions generated by an automatic JavaScript program edit
Suggestions generated by an automatic JavaScript program
Suggestions generated by an automatic JavaScript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.
- Please expand the lead to conform with guidelines at Wikipedia:Lead. The article should have an appropriate number of paragraphs as is shown on WP:LEAD, and should adequately summarize the article.[?]
- Consider adding more links to the article; per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (links) and Wikipedia:Build the web, create links to relevant articles.[?]
- The script has spotted the following contractions: won't, if these are outside of quotations, they should be expanded.
- Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.[?]