Wikipedia:Peer review/Lawrence Taylor/archive2
Lawrence Taylor edit
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… I would like to see what else can be done to the article to make it featured. Thanks, Milk’s Favorite Cookie (Talk) 15:17, 25 April 2008 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: Detailed and well-written, looks pretty close to FAC to me. Here my suggestions for improvement - they are mostly nit-picks - hope they help:
- Please provide context for the reader by adding dates in several places, for example Taylor played his entire professional career, 1981–1993, as a linebacker for the New York Giants in the National Football League (NFL). or give the years he attended the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. See WP:PCR
- I know the lead is not required to have citations, but He is often considered to be one of the greatest defensive players in the history of football, and has been called the greatest defensive player of all time by media members, former players, and coaches. is such an extraordinary claim (or series of claims) I wonder if it should be cited in the lead. Ditto for some of the other best of/ever claims in the lead.
- I would use "as of 2008 is" instead of "is currently" in and is currently pursuing a career as an actor."
- Did Taylor graduate from UNC Chpel Hill? What did he study / major in? Also give the years retiring his jersey number and for Julius Peppers time at UNC.
- I do not write sports articles - is it a style decision not spell out "number two" in ... was drafted by the NFL's New York Giants as the # 2 pick overall.?
- I think it best to provide specifics on comments like and is often considered to have had one of the greatest rookie seasons in NFL history.[21][22] so something like and his rookie season has been called of the greatest in NFL history by writers for ESPN and Sprts Illustrated.[21][22] - if these are well-known writers perhaps even name them. This is true throughout the article - specific attribution is better than general.
- I either missed Taylor's first violation of the NFL's substance abuse policy or it is not in the article - it should be metioned chronologically. OK< the next sentence is The first result had been kept private and was not known to the public at the time. - can any more be said - when was this for example?
- The quotes starting the "Impact on the NFL" and "Drugs and extreme measures" seem too short for block quotes - see Wikipedia:MOS#Quotations
- What did the company called All-Pro Products make or sell?
Overall quite good and hope this helps, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 15:22, 29 April 2008 (UTC)