Wikipedia:Peer review/Ken Trinkle/archive1

Ken Trinkle edit

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for November 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to try to promote this article to WP:GA status. But first of course I have to get it through WP:GAN, and I have requested a peer review of Ken Trinkle to prepare and polish the article before the nomination. Any comments would be appreciated.

Thanks, – RyanCross (talk) 07:21, 1 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Giants2008 - I'm an FAC reviewer, meaning that I don't have great knowledge of the GA standards. However, I can still offer some helpful suggestions, and have done so below.

The article seems rather short to me. Is there any more published information on him that could be added to the page? A library search could be helpful, or you could do a Google News search for articles on him. No guarantees that you'll find anything, but I do feel this needs to be beefed up.
I have concerns about the reliability of sources used. What makes garybed.co.uk, findagrave.com, and baseballinwartime.com reliable?
Here's an example of an uncited statistic: "In 1949, his only season with Philadelphia and his last in Major League Baseball, Trinkle pitched in 42 games and recorded his highest major league earned run average at 4.00." Statistics, along with quotes and contentious information, should be cited.
"Kenneth Wayne "Ken" Trinkle was born in Paoli, Indiana in the United States." Optimally, the first sentence should state why the subject is notable enough to have a Wikipedia page. In this case, it should say that he was a Major League Baseball player.
The part about where he was born could be moved into the body. The lead should serve as a summary of the whole article, and everything in the lead should be mentioned in the body.
Watch for writing issues like "He was a relief pitcher in Major League Baseball player who served military service in World War II during his career." Player should be removed, and served and service are redundant; change one of them.

I hope you find this helpful. If you want more comments, please ask on this page or on my talk page. Giants2008 (17-14) 23:47, 8 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]