Wikipedia:Peer review/Hoover Dam/archive1

Hoover Dam edit

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
. I've listed this article for peer review because… User: NortyNort and myself intend to take it to FAC and we'd like feedback.

Thanks, Wehwalt (talk) 21:56, 21 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hello. I believe the technical facts and figures are well into place to qualify into FA status. On the other hand, I did notice some areas are written like a story (example: On the morning of the 9th, Crowe met with the committee and informed them that not only were their demands refused, but that all work was being stopped and the entire work force laid off except for a few office workers and carpenters. The workers were given until 5 p.m. to vacate the premises. Concerned that a violent confrontation was in the works, most workers took their paychecks and left for Las Vegas to await developments.); perhaps a quick rephrasing could fix this. Other than this, the page seems perfectly fine to me. Good luck. Rehman⁽⁺⁾ 11:49, 23 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You have a point. That part of the article is written at a much slower pace than the rest of the article, and it is narrative-based. I'll play around with the language a bit, but I'm not sure if a fundamental change is possible without deleting it, which I am loath to do. I hope other reviewers will look at this point and comment.--Wehwalt (talk) 14:04, 23 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]