Europe edit
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've already done small amount of work on this article but it is rather long and I would like to get some suggestions for how to improve it further, with a view to getting it to GA or even FA status.
Thanks, Harland1 (t/c) 13:37, 17 February 2008 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 02:58, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
I've gone through everything up to Geography, and have given detailed comments below. I'm not a historian nor a professional writer, so take everything I say as suggestion. Overall, I think it's a very good article, bound to get through GA and maybe FA without too much more work. --jwandersTalk 21:55, 24 February 2008 (UTC)
Lead
Para 1: "Physically and geologically..." isn't this the same thing and redundant?
Para 2:
The lead image doesn't include Russia, but the text says Russia is Europe's largest country.
- It includes the part of Russia generally considered to be in Europe but not the rest. Harland1 (t/c) 18:33, 25 February 2008 (UTC)
- This para switches twice between discussing Europe compared to other countries and comparing the countries within Europe. There should only be one switch, and these could perhaps be separate paras.
Para 3:
- "...after the beginning of colonization" should specify which colonization is being referred to.
- Changed but perhaps not enough
- This historical summary skips the North American fights for independence; perhaps this is notable enough to be included?
- I would say not? This is just one episode of a colony fighting for freedom, we can't include them all so not just one. Harland1 (t/c) 18:33, 25 February 2008 (UTC)
- Nice linked map! I'll have to remember that and steal the tech sometime ;-)
Etymology
Para 2:
- The formatting of "...see Prithvi (Platia)" looks off. Consider adjusting the punctuation (no need for the semi-colon), or better, working the "Prithvi" wlink into a natural sentence.
- The majority view should be referenced, ideally to more than one source as it is the majority view.
- The last sentence does not read well. I think the problem is a combination of the unfamiliar names, unusual letters, and the quoted punctuation. Perhaps expanding to multiple phrases would help?
- I don't believe "see also X" is accepted wp:Manual of Style form. Again, try expanding into a full sentence including the appropriate wikilink, or at least put the "see also" in parentheses.
Para 3:
- Rephrase "A majority of major..."
- Is "Turks" an accepted term for "The Turkish people"? It sounds unencyclopedic
- The last sentence says "for centuries" but doesn't indicate which centuries it's referring to. Is this still true today, or was it the case from 700-400 B.C.?
Prehistory
Para 2: The information on the roman empire seems out of place in this section.
Dark Ages
Para 1:
- "Isolated monastic communities in Ireland, Scotland and elsewhere" Be more specific than "elsewhere" or just say "Ireland and Scotland".
- "disappeared from European popular currency." I've heard the word "currency" used to refer to the value of ideas, but not to the ideas themselves. Are you sure this is proper usage?
Middle Ages
Para 2: In summary style, it's always hard to know how much detail to include, but I would suggest expanding this para on the Black Death to a few more sentences.
- Done a bit
18th and 19th centuries
Para 3:
- No mention of N. America's independence from Europe? I'm not a historian, but it seems this might be worth a sentence.
Added a sentence will add more. Harland1 (t/c) 14:52, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
- Note about Karl Marx's manifesto seems out of step. Either expand it to show context and relation with the rest of the para, or remove it.
20th century to present
Para 2: This sentence is very hard to parse as it's main cause is modified both beforehand and afterwards: "Economic instability, caused in part by debts incurred from the First World War, brought about the worldwide Great Depression during the 1930s, precipitated by the Wall Street Crash of 1929."
Para 3: First sentence is too long, should be split into 2 or 3.