Wikipedia:Peer review/Dental caries/archive1

Dental caries edit

Please review for breadth of coverage, spelling/grammar errors, and the general writing style. - Dozenist talk 21:12, 15 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Since caries is apparently singular and plural, I think it would be helpful to establish this, either explicitly or implicitly (by starting the first sentence "Dental caries ... is a disease..."). I would also suggest the use of the two alternative names for the disease more often: the phrase "dental caries" occurs five times in the lead. A sentence like "Compared to coronal smooth surface caries, proximal caries progress quicker and takes an average of 4 years to pass through enamel in permanent teeth." confuses the pluralization issue too!

Since we all know this subject as "cavities" (well, that's an assumption I'll make for North America, at least), using that term occasionally would be helpful. For example, "An estimated 90% of schoolchildren worldwide and most adults have experienced dental caries" becomes simply "An estimated 90% of schoolchildren worldwide and most adults have had cavities". Maybe it sounds less "clinical", but that's not always a bad thing.

Overall the article is very good and comprehensive. –Outriggr § 05:42, 16 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Ruhrfisch 03:47, 21 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, here goes. Because I know what a great contributer you are and how high your own standards are, I'm going to be really picky;)

1. Animals. You knew this was coming -- yes, they're uncommon in companion animals, but what about other animals? FR says that for "For most non-human mammals, the presence of caries is evidence of bad general health and nutritional deficiencies." No citation is given there, but this needs to be addressed.

2. Prevalence in developed World You talk a bit about them being more common in North America and Asia and less so in Africa. It would be nice to explore differential rates in different developed countries. And when you say:

"In children aged 5 to 17, 80% of dental caries reside in 25% :of the population"

this holds only for California. Is it the same world-wide? Significantly different?

3. History FR gives a bit of uncited data on the origin of human caries. This is important. Here's a free translation:

[Human] Caries probably appeared in the Neolitich (7000 years :ago in Europe), perhaps related to the consumption of flour when populations became more sedentary, abandoning hunting as a :primary food source. Human teeth dating from this period that come from groups who were still hunters and gatherers (including sweet berries) do not contain caries.

4. Causes What about Tobacco use? And medical disorders such as Hyperthyroidism and Hyperparathyroidism? Perhaps a bit more on the potential vaccine (though not much; it has its own article)

DE says that there are "several theories on the development of caries. Today the chemo-parasitical Theory of W.D. Miller is generally accepted. Thus, caries result from several pathological factors causing the desctruction of dental tissue in several stages."

Maybe you should go into this more, though I can't comment further on it (due to my ignorance)

5. Images Would these images help illustrate the article?

6. Pseudoscience. I know this article shouldn't get bogged down by crank theories about caries. But a mention of the most prominent ones is in order.

You've done what looks like an excellent job so far. I hope these critiques will be helpful as you *hopefully!* try to bring this article up to featured status. --Zantastik talk 01:51, 24 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks everyone SO MUCH for all the ideas. It took forever to try to address as much as I could. Here is a summary of what I ended up doing:

Created article about dental caries in animals and linked to it at the top of the page.(Got the idea from the featured article, Pneumonia)
The 80/20 stat was not just for California, but I found a better ref stating the the ~80/20 finding in the U.S. and Europe.
Found more information concerning the distribution of the disease around the world.
Found and cited information about the history.
Specifically mentioned other influencing factors that cause tooth decay, including dry mouth and tobacco.
I do not really know if those images would really be helpful. They look a little basic and the information is in the article, but if some of ya'll would like it in the article, then by all means we can stick them in somewhere.
I really do not know if there is much "crank theories" about caries, but in the history section the tooth worm idea is mentioned.
I expanded the lead section to conform to WP:LEAD.
Headings were modified to conform to WP:MOS#Headings.
Reordered the last few sections to follow guidelines at WP:GTL.
Citations were found for all the {{fact}}s.
And thanks to Jersyko for doing a copyedit.

-Dozenist talk 22:42, 12 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]

You're welcome, though I don't recall if I've done a copyedit to the rest of the article (aside from the history subsec). Brainrot, you know. · j e r s y k o talk · 22:54, 12 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]