Wikipedia:Peer review/Darla (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)/archive1

Darla (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would love to see it reach FA status eventually. Darla was a very old vampire, with a much sorted history. She's probably my favorite television character of all time and I would love to see her article reach featured status. It's short (so is Martin Keamy), which is also a FA), but covers a lot of information. I've already requested a copy-edit at WP:GOCE. Feedback would be much appreciated.

Thanks, HorrorFan121 (talk) 22:59, 5 July 2011 (UTC)

Comments by James26 — Hi. I thought it was well-written in general. Here were my issues.

• The first two sentences of the main body read like a continuation of the lead (one simply refers to a "pilot episode") -- rather than introducing the show and actress on their own.

• TV.com is user-editable, making it questionable as a reliable source.

• The second "comeback" paragarah ("I was shocked. I just thought once you poof'd. . .") seemed redundant to me. It didn't really add much that I hadn't already gathered (some statements are almost identical to those in the previous paragraph). Someone else could feel differently, though.

(Non-issue) -- James26 (talk) 10:04, 16 July 2011 (UTC)

• "She later joked: 'I just didn’t know how it was going to happen. So when they sent me the script. . .' "

Which script/show is this referring to? If this refers to the first death, on Buffy, perhaps "She later joked" could be replaced with something that makes this a bit clearer.

• "In an interview with BBC, Benz described Darla as being strong:"

Should this part be separate from the rest of the block? Also, should the two different quotes, from separate sources, be in two different blocks? (I'm not entirely familiar with these kinds of block quotes).

• "I would be a doing huge disservice"

Did you consider adding "[sic]" to this?

• In most articles I've read, "The" is often used before "BBC".

• "Demeanour" might be a Canadian spelling (I looked but couldn't find anything), since I notice that the interview was conducted in Toronto. Sort of like the British spellings in the article. Could be worth checking out.

(Non-issue) -- James26 (talk) 10:04, 16 July 2011 (UTC)

• Why does she have to die for the baby to be born?

(Non-issue) -- James26 (talk) 10:04, 16 July 2011 (UTC)

• The "Reception" section mentions "critics" (plural) but only cites one. Also, having the critic's quote appear twice in the article felt awkward. Might be best if the lead just paraphrased it. -- James26 (talk) 22:32, 15 July 2011 (UTC)

By paraphrase I mostly meant leaving the quote out and summing it up in your own words ("A positive review, citing the character's. . ."), but I suppose it's fine in shortened form. Nice work overall. -- James26 (talk) 10:04, 16 July 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for this! I'll look over and try to fix your suggestions later on tonight. HorrorFan121 (talk) 00:15, 16 July 2011 (UTC)