Wikipedia:Peer review/Charing Cross, Euston and Hampstead Railway/archive1

Charing Cross, Euston and Hampstead Railway edit

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for August 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it previously failed a featured article review on copy edit grounds. Changes have been made since then which, hopefully, clear these issues, but an independent review would be appreciated.

Thanks, DavidCane (talk) 01:32, 3 August 2008 (UT

Ruhrfisch comments: Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here.

The lead seems a little sparse for an article this long and detailed - anyway it can be made more detailed? See WP:LEAD
The lead image Image:CCE&HR.png uses three shades of grey, which are difficult to distinguish - any chance the image could be redone with clearer colors so the various extensions would be clearer? Also, since the line opened in 1907, are there any historic images that are old enough to be free that could be used?
Per MOS:QUOTE block quotes should be at least four lines long - the ones in Hampstead Heath controversy are not even two full lines on my computer.
Reads fairly well to me. I might see if the bullet point lists could be converted to text (unless this is a rail MOS issue). I would also try to avoid very short paragraphs - the Legacy section has two paragraphs of a total of 3 sentences - why not just one paragraph here?

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 23:08, 10 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your comments:

I have expanded the lead a bit.
Black is the colour traditionally used for the Northern line on the tube map, so I want to keep the colours as they are but I have made a new version with the extensions shown with dashed lines of different spacings to make them easier to differentiate.
Unfortunately, most of the images available for the London Underground are in the London Transport Museum archive which claims copyright as most of them haven't been published until recently. Most of the station articles linked from the CCE&HR article have links to the archive.
I have removed the indenting of the quotes and combined them with the sentences
The bullet lists have been queried before when the article was a featured article candidate. The use is common on articles of this type and helps the list of stations stand out from the body text.
I have combined the two legacy sentences as there was no special reason to separate them.

--DavidCane (talk) 02:07, 12 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]