Wikipedia:Peer review/2010–11 Temple Owls men's basketball team/archive2

2010–11 Temple Owls men's basketball team edit

Previous peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I think it just needs a bit of a touch up before it is ready for FA.

Thanks, ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 00:10, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

FunkMonk comments - Hi, I will start by making some comments about the images, and then add more as I read the article. The licenses are all free and valid, I have moved the logo to Commons. Two images are vertical, so they might benefit from adding the upright parameter, which makes them protrude less down. Also, the Fran Dunphy image should probably be right aligned, since photos of people should face the text, not away from it, per image MOS. In that way, it won't push the template and title near it to the right either. Perhaps the Lavoy Allen image should be moved up to his award section, so it does not interfere with the references, creating white space. FunkMonk (talk) 04:55, 27 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
OK. Mind doing the upright part? ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 21:39, 27 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
JS comments - the article's paragraphing and writing style are not great. The second paragraph starts off with "TO finished the season" - what season? There is far too much detail at the top and extremely badly paragraphed. Also, the most important info about the team goes in the top part, the details can go in the article body. JoshuSasori (talk) 05:30, 27 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
It's pretty clear what season it is. Any more examples of bad prose? ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 21:39, 27 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
It's possible to puzzle it out, I suppose. JoshuSasori (talk) 02:24, 28 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Two other things I noticed, there's a red link in ref 27, and there are some names in the intro, shouldn't they be wikilinked? FunkMonk (talk) 15:32, 8 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]