Wikipedia

Wikipedia:Featured list candidates/Cleveland Blues (NL) all-time roster/archive1

< Wikipedia:Featured list candidates
The following is an archived discussion of a featured list nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured list candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The list was promoted by Dabomb87 03:26, 6 July 2012 [1].

Cleveland Blues (NL) all-time roster edit

Cleveland Blues (NL) all-time roster (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

Toolbox
Nominator(s): Neonblak talk - 20:30, 28 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured list because I feel it fits the criteria in uniform with my previous lists of this kind. However, if reviewers notice prose, or any other, issues, I will fix them a timely manner. Neonblak talk - 20:30, 28 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Resolved comments from The Rambling Man (talk) 15:28, 2 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Comments
  • Lead image caption doesn't need a period.
  • "the team never finished higher than third place in the standings, and played their home games in League Park" these two clauses aren't really related, it reads a little strange to me.
  • "and a tie;[1] McCormick winning a league-leading 45" would either make the semi-colon a comma or change "winning" to "won".
  • "These moves caused the Blues to become financially unstable" why?
  • John Clapp caption, dab link.
  • " team later in 1883 season " do you just mean "late"?
  • "In Eden only " Eden's.
  • "Bill Phillips was the franchise's all-time leader in most batting categories." ref?
  • "At the age of 19, Smith in just one game for the B" missing a word...
  • "Tom York led the league in most games played by a left fielder in 1883." ref?
  • No need to SHOUT in the refs.
  • En-dashes in the ref titles per WP:DASH rather than hyphens...
  • Bibliography refs pp. 360, that should just be p. 360.

The Rambling Man (talk) 11:19, 1 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Made the corrections noted above. A couple of things: The two you ask for references incuded them. Both the all-time pitching and batting leaders use the specific page detailing the leaders in each statistical category. As for York, on the his retrosheet page, and bolded stat indicates that he led the league, although it doesn't say that. Both retrosheet and baseball-reference do the same thing. The pp vs p in the bibliography. Not sure what to do about that, the template uses "pages=" and spits out "pp".Neonblak talk - 17:09, 1 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
I reckon if you change the template to "page=", you'll solve that issue... The Rambling Man (talk) 09:35, 2 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed that there s. :) Neonblak talk - 15:22, 2 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Resolved comments from Giants2008 (Talk) 01:05, 21 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Oppose – Sorry, but I'm running into numerous problems with the prose and am not even halfway through the table notes yet. This should have been copy-edited more before being nominated.
  • "Evans became the their president and stayed in that capacity...". Needs the removal of "the" since it's an excess word.
  • In the first sentence of the second paragraph, you don't need the comma after the parenthetical bit.
  • "Cleveland did not fair well". "fair" → "fare".
  • Don't think there's usually a hyphen in "up-start".
  • The table caption refers to the Cincinnati Reds. Might want to change that.
  • Jack Allen: Never like to see sentence starting with numbers, like "1879 was his only season at the major league level." May want to check for that elsewhere.
  • Ernie Busch: "he became the Brooklyn Grays every-day left fielder." "Grays" → "Grays'".
  • Tom Carey: "he had a .239 batting average as the teams' starting shortstop." "teams'" → "team's".
  • Fred Dunlap: "As a fielder, he twice led the league with assists and double plays." "with" → "in"?
  • Al Hall: The comma before "he had a .125 batting average" should be a semi-colon instead.
  • Ned Hanlon: "Hanlon was the Blues' starting left fielder had a .246 batting average in 73 games played." Missing "and" before "had".
  • Sonny Hoffman: "Hoffman's entire career consisted two games, and had no hits in six at bats." Could use "of" after "consisted", and possibly "he" before "had".
  • Pete Hotaling: "Hotaling played in over 100 games in each of his seasons with the Blues, leading the league in 1883 with 100." Playing in exactly 100 games isn't the same as playing more than that amoung. Should the first part say "played in 100 or more games" or similar? Giants2008 (Talk) 20:24, 5 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]


Thanks for you patience, I should know to never trust my own copy-editing. I will surely ensure that a good copy-edit, or peer review, is done by a third party next time. I went ahead and made other edits as well, hopefully ensuring nicely constructed sentences throughout.Neonblak talk - 03:06, 6 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

  • In the Ned Hanlon photo caption, the comma after "manager" should be removed.
  • What makes TheDeadBallEra (ref 65) a reliable source?
  • Double period in the publisher of the first general reference could stand to be taken out. Giants2008 (Talk) 18:08, 10 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed. I like TheDeadBallEra for death information on old ballplayers. I mainly use the site because they will post obits for some players. Since I don't believe the site has been completely vetted as a reliable resource, and the information I used isn't really necessary, I removed the information and citation.Neonblak talk - 16:21, 12 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support – After the fixes, the list looks much better and I think it meets the standards now. Giants2008 (Talk) 01:05, 21 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Resolved comments from NapHit (talk) 15:44, 24 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Comments
  • As an englishman, some of the in American sports can be a little hard to understand, there is just one instance here; where players are referred to as "jumping" their contracts. I have absolutely no idea what this means, is there a wikilink you could provide? that would help immeasurably.
  • for 1884 season at the end of the third para I would link to the blues season article for that year
  • "Beginning his major league career with the Blues" this has confused me a bit. The current baseball league is referred to as the MLB, yet there is no mention of that above, so should you not say "beginning his national league career", or something similar?
  • ref 1 the hyphen should be an en dash

NapHit (talk) 10:52, 22 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I removed the term "jumping" with a phrase that hopefully clears things up. As far as differentiating the difference between a "major" league and Major League Baseball (MLB), it is correct to say "he began his major league career...", so I'd rather keep all the items that have that. I put a little link next to the National League in the opening sentence of the lead to clarify. If this doesn't work, let me know.Neonblak talk - 17:21, 23 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Resolved comments from Muboshgu (talk) 18:31, 27 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
*Comments Muboshgu (talk) 17:16, 24 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"In their six seasons in the NL, the team never finished higher than third place in the standings." State out of how many by this point. I would move " The NL expanded from six teams to eight before the 1879 season, and invited the franchise to join, and they accepted.[3]" to before that sentence.
" They were organized by William Hollinger, a businessman, and J. Ford Evans in 1878" So Hollinger was a businessman... who was Evans?
" and invited the franchise to join, and they accepted." --> "accepted an invitation to join" or something similar to that
"the team changed the on-field leadership over the next several years, including John Clapp and Fred Dunlap" A little unclear, did Clapp and Dunlap become managers? Captains? For what years? The same seasons?
"$2500" should be $2,500, and I like the use of {{Inflation}} to provide more context on the dollar amount.
I believe I have addressed your concerns, if there is anything else, please let me know.Neonblak talk - 02:33, 25 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
I believe you have. I have no other comments. Support – Muboshgu (talk) 18:31, 27 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Featured_list_candidates/Cleveland_Blues_(NL)_all-time_roster/archive1&oldid=1090453207"