Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/William Ellis Newton/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by SandyGeorgia 22:20, 12 June 2010 [1].

William Ellis Newton edit

Featured article candidates/William Ellis Newton/archive1

Nominator(s): Ian Rose (talk) 04:03, 26 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about the only Victoria Cross recipient flying with an RAAF squadron during World War II, a man who was shot down and beheaded by his captors for his trouble. Took it to GA some time ago but always intended for FA. This recent expansion employing his sole biography and that of a comrade, Charles Learmonth (another article in my sights), has just passed A-Class Review in the MilHist and Aviation projects, and I believe meets FA criteria as well. N.B. This is a Wikicup entry; please note that due to travel commitments, I'll have limited access to the web (and even less to references) for a month commencing 10 June, so if people are able to review and raise any issues sooner rather than later, that'd be very helpful. Thanks/cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 04:03, 26 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comment—no dab links, no dead external links. Ucucha 07:11, 26 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Cricket alert!: "...Test batsman Bill Ponsford—still the only man to twice score 400 in a first-class innings..." I suggest you check out the record of B.C. Lara (West Indies). Admittedly, one of his was over 500, and the other was only against England, but still... Brianboulton (talk) 10:52, 26 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Heh, I didn't put in that little snippet myself but as nominator I'll take responsibility for it... ;-) Happy to change "still the only man" to "the first man" unless anyone has a better suggestion. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 11:13, 26 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  - Went for "only Australian" for now. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 23:16, 26 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sources: All sources look OK, no outstanding issues. Brianboulton (talk) 10:53, 26 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

File:Australian_Army_Emblem.JPG, this licence needs verified Fasach Nua (talk) 18:21, 26 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Does look a bit dubious, doesn't it? I'm happy to replace with the Australian flag until or unless the emblem licensing is verified -- we'd always tended to use the Australian flag for the Army till this emblem file became available recently. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 23:16, 26 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Support Yet another great article on a significant RAAF figure which meets the FA criteria. I've re-worded the last sentence in the lead so that it flows better, but could be tweaked more I suspect. Nick-D (talk) 08:26, 7 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Many thanks Nick. I think your modification to the last sentence of the lead is generally fine but wonder if it'd work slightly better as "for action" as opposed to "for an action" (seems to flow better and still accurate), and kind of prefer "sole Australian to be so decorated" unless that sounds a bit peacockish... ;-) Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 09:16, 7 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  - Yes, "for action" is more accurate (given that this is an unusual VC in that it wasn't awarded for a single event) and "sole Australian to be so decorated" cuts down on some duplication. Nick-D (talk) 10:52, 7 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    - Tks mate -- done. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 11:00, 7 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Support I think this is an excellent article. It flows well and has just the right amount of information in it. I had a look in my books on the VC and couldn't find anything to add or anything incorrect so sources works out well. I have a slight qualm with the sentence: "The citation in the London Gazette, which incorrectly implied that he was shot down on 17 March rather than the following day, and as having failed to escape from his sinking aircraft, read:" It just doesn't seem to flow right to me, maybe it can be reworded? Also, you don't need the double citation there in terms of "ref [13]," the Gazette should suffice. Apart from those small personal issues I think the article is great and meets the FA criteria. Good work. Woody (talk) 22:42, 7 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Tks Woody, I'll think about that sentence (maybe on the plane)! Re. the second citation, I was being careful of any suggestion of editorialising: the two errors are actually pointed out by Staunton, so it's not just me saying it... ;-) Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 01:56, 8 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  - Do you think this rearrangement is an improvement, Woody? Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 12:39, 8 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Newton was awarded the Victoria Cross for his actions on 16–18 March, becoming the only Australian airman to earn the decoration in the South West Pacific theatre of World War II, and the only one while flying with an RAAF squadron. The citation, which incorrectly implied that he was shot down on 17 March rather than the following day, and as having failed to escape from his sinking aircraft, was promulgated in the London Gazette on 19 October 1943:

That reads better to me, after reflecting on what you said I suggest you put the ref at the end of "1943:" and then put the Gazette citation at the end of the citation. Would that work for you? Woody (talk) 16:50, 8 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Yep -- done. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 17:46, 8 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Support fascinating read. I find nothing lacking. TomStar81 (Talk) 01:26, 8 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Tks Tom. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 01:56, 8 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Support - Read the page from start and finish, and to me it certainly deserves the star. Well-written, well-sourced, and a fine read. There were a couple tiny flaws that I noticed; the first was in the bit that Woody mentioned earlier. It still looks a shade off to me, and I think it's because of the "as having" part. Just dropping those two words would be sufficient to fix it. The second thing was toward the end, where I saw "by the-then Chief of Air Force"; the hyphen looks like it should go one word later. Other than those small points, excellent work. Giants2008 (27 and counting) 01:39, 11 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.