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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/The Unnatural (The X-Files)/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by GrahamColm 10:02, 27 October 2013 (UTC) [1].[reply]

The Unnatural (The X-Files) edit

The Unnatural (The X-Files) (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

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Nominator(s): Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:41, 20 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

This is one of The X-Files more unusual episodes, featuring an baseball-loving alien. It, however, is also one of the series' more poignant episodes. I am nominating this for featured article because I feel it is ready for FA. It was promoted to GA in the late part of 2011, then promoted to A-class in the later part of 2012. It has been edited multiple times since then, and has been copy-edited twice, once by Baffle_gab1978 and once by JudyCS, both within the last year or so. All of the references are of the highest quality, its format is similar to other X-Files episodes that have been promoted to FA, and the prose is neutral, informative, and of good quality. I feel it is ready. Any comments would of course be appreciated.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:41, 20 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

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Comment: Being a contributor with an article at FAC just now, it was suggested to me that I consider reviewing another article or two. This seems like a fun one, so here I am. I have a few separate comments, so I'll use bullet points to make them easier to read.

  • Plot
  1. First sentence: Any indication of date at this stage? 1947 is mentioned later as "back in 1947", but this isn't initially framed as such.
  2. Worth repeating who Arthur Dales is here in the second paragraph, for readability, even though it's mentioned in the intro.
  3. "Dales warns Exley that he is now wanted and Exley goes into hiding." Wanted by whom? The Alien Bounty Hunter? If so, how does Dales know this?
  4. Two minor things here in the fifth paragraph:
  1. First, re: "The narrative returns to the start of the episode." I'd suggest "...returns to the events at the start of the episode" for clarity.
  2. Second, in the final sentence, I'd suggest "Back in 1999..." instead of "Back in the present..."
  • Production#Conception and writing—In the first paragraph, I'm not sure we need this much detail about other episodes Duchovny was involved in writing, especially the episodes after this one, which don't help frame the paragraph that follows.
  • Production#Casting
  1. In the first paragraph, for clarity, I'd suggest indicating who the "lead guest role" is. It's presumably Exley, but could conceivably be Dales.
  2. There's a typo in the third paragraph: "Dana Scully name" should be "Dana Scully's name."
  • Production#Filming and post-production—As with Duchovny's writing credits, I feel like the mention of episodes that Duchovny later directed isn't relevant here.
  • Themes
  1. At the beginning of the second paragraph the sentence that reads "Sara Gwenllian-Jones in her book Cult Television argues that, throughout the entry, "the blacks are equated with aliens,"..." seems odd. Surely "entry" should be "episode", correct?
  2. I'd suggest replacing the semi-colon in the last sentence with a period and breaking it into two sentences.
  • Broadcast and reception#Ratings
  1. I'd suggest keeping discussion of the US and UK together—so, air date in US, then view figures for US, then air date in the UK, then figures out viewership in the UK.
  2. Also, at the beginning of the third paragraph, "In the U.S., The episode was viewed by 16.88 million viewers..." should read "In the U.S., the episode was viewed by 16.88 million viewers…"

Overall, though, very solid article. The details in Filming and post-production were especially interesting. I hope these comments are helpful, let me know if you have any questions. Cheers, WWB Too (Talk · COI) 00:23, 8 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much for your comments. I have implemented most of them. The only one I didn't change is the info about Duchvony's writing and directing. Considering he is one of the two leads, I feel that info on his directing and writing is especially important, and since this is both his writing and directoral debut, I felt it was appropriate to quickly summarize what he had and would accomplish on the show. But again, thank you for your comments!!--Gen. Quon (Talk) 00:37, 8 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
You're very welcome, Quon. If you don't mind, I'd like to explain about the later episode material a bit further. Details about specific subsequent episodes written (or partially contributed to) by Duchovny seem more appropriate to articles about the series and Duchovny himself. I think it's perfectly fine to note that this was his first writing effort for the series under Conception and writing, and directing effort for the series under Filming and post-production, however subsequent episodes seem to me beyond the scope of the topic of this particular episode. On a related note, I dislike the "X would later Y" construction, which strikes me as somewhat affected in a way that clashes with Wikipedia's straightforward tone—although that could be addressed on its own. Best, WWB Too (Talk · COI) 12:47, 8 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I cut down the first bit quite a lot and merged it into the second paragraph. I cut info about "Hollywood AD" and "William" in the directing info. I still think it is OK to leave a small bit about his previous writing contributions, just so people know this isn't his first bit of writing. How's it look now?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 16:06, 8 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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