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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Oliver Bosbyshell/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Graham Colm 19:35, 6 May 2014 [1].

Oliver Bosbyshell edit

Nominator(s): Wehwalt (talk) 18:17, 7 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about… Oliver Bosbyshell, a rather obscure figure in the history of the mint, but who also held some fame in his own lifetime for claiming to be the first person wounded in the Civil War. That rather seems to have fallen by the wayside, a local historian in Pennsylvania I consulted had never heard of Bosbyshell, and a book on the early days of the Civil War that has a play-by-play of the Baltimore Riot doesn't mention him in that context. Interesting character though. Early nom permitted by Ian Rose. Enjoy.Wehwalt (talk) 18:17, 7 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Image review

  • Medal caption shouldn't end in period
  • File:Bosbyshell_medal_crop.jpg: what is the licensing status of the medal itself? Nikkimaria (talk) 22:30, 11 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Those things are done. Thank you.--Wehwalt (talk) 23:48, 11 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Crisco review

  • Per WP:LEADLENGTH, this 15k article should not have 4 paragraphs of lead.
  • Lead doesn't mention his later life
  • Perhaps link Confederate and Union at first mention?
  • Bosbyshell's - His, perhaps?
  • Watch for an over-reliance on semi-colons; I spot three in the first three sentences and section title
  • he contracted bronchitis while fighting the fire which destroyed his warehouse, then died shortly after a sea voyage he had taken in hopes of improving his health. The elder Bosbyshell died in Philadelphia eight weeks before his son's birth, - I get the feeling that these could be merged together.
  • returned from Mississippi by land - is the fact that she returned by land worth mentioning?
  • With Pleasants now on General Robert B. Potter's staff, - no frame of reference for what "now" means
  • at Philadelphia in 1876. In 1879, he was elected as commander of Post 2 in Philadelphia. - any way to avoid repeating Philadelphia?
  • On October 17, 1889, President Benjamin Harrison commissioned Bosbyshell as superintendent of the Philadelphia Mint. ... Bosbyshell filed his oath as Philadelphia Mint superintendent on November 1, 1889. - Any way to avoid repeating the name of the post twice in three sentences?
  • In 1890, Bosbyshell deposited $4,200 of federal funds in the Keystone National Bank, which then went bankrupt. Bosbyshell was responsible for the debt, which was only $300 less than his annual salary, and paid it off by stages, completing the payments in 1894. - can this be merged anywhere? It's really short
Done down to here.--Wehwalt (talk) 22:32, 17 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Otherwise his Mint career was uneventful?
So far as I can tell from the refs. Mint records aren't the most complete and Bosbyshell's not well-studied.--Wehwalt (talk) 10:28, 19 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Link Pennsylvania National Guard on first mention?
  • With the outbreak of the Spanish-American War in 1898, Bosbyshell organized and served as colonel of the Nineteenth Pennsylvania National Guard Regiment, which was used for homeland defense. He remained in that capacity from August 1898 until November, 1899. - anywhere this can be merged?
Not that I see.--Wehwalt (talk) 10:28, 19 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • He had four sons with his wife Martha, who died in 1914; their eldest son Nathan died in Los Angeles in 1888 at age 23. - Merge this with the bit about Bosbyshell's death? I mean, his wife's death is not quite an "interest" as with the GAR. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 14:43, 16 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Perhaps discuss his role in various coins, such as the Isabella quarter? — Crisco 1492 (talk) 14:57, 16 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
I've put a bit in. I'm reluctant to go too far as just because a letter is from Bosbyshell, it may not have represented his views, the way the Mint was organized, you always went through your superior officer. With the quarter, it seems clearest.
Not sure. Generally it says "public schools" or "common schools". Most likely, from what you say. I think that's everything, thank you for the review.--Wehwalt (talk) 10:28, 19 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support on prose. Yet another well done article! — Crisco 1492 (talk) 13:17, 19 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for the review and support.--Wehwalt (talk) 19:58, 19 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. - Dank (push to talk)

  • "according to accounts in his lifetime, he was struck by a missile variously described as a stone or a brick. Although it gave him a large bruise and momentarily stunned him, the object drew no blood; Private Bosbyshell was purportedly the first man wounded in the Union cause": "purportedly", "accounts", "in his lifetime" and "variously described" leave me wondering whether historians today generally believe these accounts.
They don't seem to. There is a source which is a virtual play by play of the Baltimore Riots and other events of the first days of the Civil War and Bosbyshell is not mentioned in that context. Without Bosbyshell to push it, the claim seems to have dropped away, though I can't find a source that says it.--Wehwalt (talk) 22:49, 24 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
If you don't think he was hit, then there may be a problem with the way the lead reads, but I'm just doing a prose review here. - Dank (push to talk) 02:54, 25 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "a post he still held as of 1908": I think "serving until 1908" or "serving until at least 1908" would be clearer (although, like your wording, the latter raises the question of why we don't know how long he served).
Because Bosbyshell doesn't have biographers. This article is probably the best reference on him, and there's nothing I could find that discussed his employment later than that. I looked through the GMU databases too.--Wehwalt (talk) 22:49, 24 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you kindly for the review and support, and for the copyediting.--Wehwalt (talk) 22:49, 24 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Your articles are always a pleasure to read. I'm doing a lot less copyediting while I work on copyediting software, but I couldn't resist this one. - Dank (push to talk) 02:59, 25 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments, leaning to Support -- recusing myself from delegate duties to review, as I have a FAC open myself at the moment...

  • Copyedited as usual, so pls let me know if you disagree with anything. My only outstanding comment is that normally we pick people up for overlinking but I wonder if the lead isn't underlinked here... I'd have normally expected links to United States Mint, Philadelphia, Union, Confederate, and Baltimore -- and that's just in the first paragraph. Of course if you feel there's a good reason not to link I'm happy to discuss...
I tend to underlink in doubtful cases. It's really a question of what I think is going to be useful to the reader. I don't tend to link major cities.--Wehwalt (talk) 12:33, 3 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Structure and level of detail look fine.
  • No dab or dup links when I checked.
  • Will rely on Nikki's image review. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 01:22, 3 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Source review -- sources look reliable and formatting appears generally consistent, however:

  • You have a question mark for the publishing date of his Descendants work but seem definite about the date in the main body -- should be consistent.
  • I'd have expected to see retrieval dates for all the online newspaper refs, not just one.
I've removed that one, which is not a newspaper. As I understand the guideline, if it is something that is not going to change (page images of books or newspapers, for example), there is no need to provide an access date. Similarly, the page that had the access date, Smith's numismatic biographies, is a PDF and an online version of a published book (though I think it had a very small printing).
  • NYT is linked half a dozen times (on first use seems enough) but Philly Record not once.
  • I'm curious to know why the volume of the first Senate journal appears in bold but not the second, though it may be some quirk of the template. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 01:22, 3 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
I'm not certain, I obviously copy and pasted one to the other, just filling in the info. In Franklin Peale, where I use the Senate journals similarly, both are bolded. If I haven't responded, it means I've gone and done it. Thank you for the reviews.--Wehwalt (talk) 12:33, 3 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • All of the above is fine by me, happy to support. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 13:22, 3 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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