Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Lie Kim Hok/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by GrahamColm 10:01, 1 July 2013 (UTC) [1].[reply]

Lie Kim Hok edit

Featured article candidates/Lie Kim Hok/archive1

Nominator(s): — Crisco 1492 (talk) 02:27, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured article because I am sure it meets the criteria. I was confused how to introduce Lie. After all, he won't be our first FA on a Chinese-Indonesian, nor on an Indonesian writer, nor even on Lie himself. However, I realised that, if promoted, this article will be our chronologically earliest featured biography of a person from what is now Indonesia. The article had a GA review by Khazar2, which helped immensely, and a PR from Wehwalt and Sarastro1 which polished the prose even more. Hope you enjoy the read! — Crisco 1492 (talk) 02:27, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Support on prose, had my say earlier on, worthy and interesting article.--Wehwalt (talk) 18:04, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for all of your help! — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:52, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments, ~~leaning support~~: I reviewed this article at PR and I think it meets the criteria fairly comfortably. Just re-reading, however, a few little points come to mind. Nothing major, though. Sarastro1 (talk) 20:51, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Watch out for overuse of "Lie". Are there any places where synonyms or pronouns could be used? There are over 70 instances of "Lie" in the main body. The "teacher and publisher" section seems particularly heavy.
The lead seems to jump a bit abruptly into his biography without really giving a sense of his achievements or significance. Rather than wait until the fourth paragraph, is there anything that could be moved to the first few sentences? I imagine many readers will not have heard of him, and it is good to give a sense quickly about why they should be interested, or why he is notable.
I think one or two sentences are a touch long in places, and would stand splitting. Nothing concrete here, just a vague sense that trimming may be needed. Perhaps cut back on one or two semi-colons as there seem to be quite a lot. Sarastro1 (talk) 20:51, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the reviews, I think I've gotten everything. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:48, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Another comment: Watch out for too many sentences beginning "In [year]..." or "After [year]". I think this should be my last nit-pick before supporting! Sarastro1 (talk) 18:37, 2 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, I got some "ins" but couldn't find enough "afters" to (in my opinion) justify rewording. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:59, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Support: There may be one or two minor prose nit-picks remaining, but I think this article comfortably meets the criteria, and I'm happy to support fully now. Sarastro1 (talk) 08:09, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for all your help! — Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:26, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Image check - all OK (PD-IDOld-Art30, PD-1996, PD-1923, PD-old-100). Sources and authors provided. GermanJoe (talk) 08:16, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the image check! — Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:26, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Source review - spotchecks not done

FN18 is broken
check alphabetization of Works cited. Nikkimaria (talk) 17:43, 10 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Done and done. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:09, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Jim No major problems, well written, looks thorough to a non-expert. A few nitpicks, mainly minor style niggles, before I support Jimfbleak - talk to me? 13:32, 22 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

peranakan Chinese—this links to Indonesian Chinese, not sure why you have used an obscure term instead of self-explanatory, especially in line 1 of the lead

Two reasons: one, peranakan is more specific (there are also pure Chinese, not interace, in Indonesia) and two, there was no "Indonesia" until more than 30 years after Lie's death. Ethnic Chinese would work, though, if you want. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:01, 22 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

You've translated European foreign language publications in the text, and local languages in the references, but local names aren't translated in the text. I assume this is accepted practice?

Pardon? I'm not clear on your meaning here. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:01, 22 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Oh, you meant the Malay titles? I can add that to the bibliography (rather than inflate the body), but some will be lacking (the ones with Chinese names; they aren't Mandarin, and I doubt most Chinese speakers could identify the correct words based on the (nonstandard) romanization. My classmate is Chinese and she protests every time I say "Lie Kim Hok"; she insists on "Li Jinfu"). Is that an issue? — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:08, 22 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

a rice mill operated by his friend.— the friend isn't named until much later, either give his name here, or change to "a friend"

Chose the second course of action. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:01, 22 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

to the latter field.—the intervening clauses have detached this somewhat from its target, perhaps literary output" although it's a bit repetitive

How's "literary works" — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:01, 22 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

the stage and film—I'd expect "cinema" or "screen" here (or plays and film)

Screen.

Although displeased with the coupling, he obeyed.—to me, coupling suggests mating, perhaps "arrangement"?

Done. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:01, 22 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

found himself unable to support his wife. As such, he sold— suggests equivalence rather than cause and effect, "Therefore" or something similar in meaning would be better

Okay. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:01, 22 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

While busy with the press, he wrote or contributed to four books. Two were pieces of nonfiction, one a collection of Chinese prophecies and the other outlined lease laws.— either fourth or last

Saw that coming before I finished reading your comment. Done. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:01, 22 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Another was a partial translation of the One Thousand and One Nights,—Another has no subject, you've done all four books

Okay, "the third" — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:01, 22 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Ibrahim gelar Marah Soetan—just checking capitalisation is correct

Correct. "Gelar" indicates that "Marah Soetan" is his title. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:01, 22 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

You have an "External links" section but no linked websites, surely redundant?

I think that was under the (mistaken) impression that the authority control was an EL. Removed — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:01, 22 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review! — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:08, 22 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Support No further queries, nice work. Jimfbleak - talk to me? 06:10, 23 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks a lot, Jim! — Crisco 1492 (talk) 06:13, 23 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Closing note: This candidate has been promoted, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{featured article candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through. Graham Colm (talk) 05:35, 1 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.