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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Fest i hela huset/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was archived by Ian Rose via FACBot (talk) 27 July 2023 [1].

Fest i hela huset edit

Nominator(s): Eurohunter (talk) 22:14, 22 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article "Fest i hela huset" is a song by Swedish musician Basshunter recorded during the season of the Swedish edition of Big Brother. The article was presented in Did you know, and it passed Guild of Copy Editors as well was peer-reviewed. Is it worth to mention in article that 2023 single "Ingen kan slå (Boten Anna)" entered Swedish singles chart first time since "Fest i hela huset" in 2011? Eurohunter (talk) 22:14, 22 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

First-time nomination edit

  • Hi Eurohunter, and welcome to FAC. Just noting that as a first time nominator at FAC, this article will need to pass a source to text integrity spot check and a review for over-close paraphrasing to be considered for promotion. Good luck with the nomination. Gog the Mild (talk) 22:26, 22 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Media review

Aoba47 edit

Apologies in advance, but I oppose this nomination based on the prose. I do not think it meets 1a of the featured article criteria (i.e. being well-written). I believe there are substantial prose issues that would be better handled in a peer review setting rather than a FAC. Here are some instances of issues with the prose, but it is not limited to these examples.

  • The length of the song is awkwardly brought up in the first line of the actual article. It is good information to include in the article, but it does not really make sense with how it is currently included.~
    • Comment: Honestly for me, it fits well, but I could move it only behind "was created by Basshunter and participants of the Swedish edition of the Big Brother franchise" and connect with the next sentence, so I don't know if that's a good idea. Eurohunter (talk) 16:55, 23 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
    • Comment: I moved it to the second sentence. Eurohunter (talk) 16:33, 24 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • The word "created" is unclear in this part, (was created by Basshunter and participants of the Swedish edition of the Big Brother franchise). The infobox clarifies this as writing credits, but it is not clear here. It is also unclear who Simon Danielsson, Gurkan Gasi, Sara Jönsson and Sonia Kamau are, and although I assume they are the Big Brother contestants, this should be more clearly defined.
    • Comment: I changed it to "and is the result of collaboration between Basshunter and participants of the Swedish edition of the Big Brother franchise". Is that a good idea? Eurohunter (talk) 16:55, 23 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
      • No. It does not address my point. Again, the "result of collaboration" is vague, and the prose does not explicitly make clear who Simon Danielsson, Gurkan Gasi, Sara Jönsson and Sonia Kamau are and leaves the readers to assume that they must be Big Brother contestants. Aoba47 (talk) 17:07, 23 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
        • Comment: I don't have the other idea. For the second issue I changed it to "The song was written by Basshunter and Big Brother members Simon Danielsson, Gurkan Gasi, Sara Jönsson and Sonia Kamau (...)". Eurohunter (talk) 20:40, 23 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
        • Comment: I changed it to ""Fest i hela huset" is a collaboration between Basshunter and participants of the Swedish edition of the Big Brother franchise." and moved information about song length to the second sentence. To the second issue, I added "Big Brother members". Eurohunter (talk) 16:33, 24 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • This sentence (The song was Basshunter's first release since his previous single, "Saturday", which was released on 5 July 2010.) is awkwardly phrased and repeats release/released.
    • Comment: I'm not that sure if "release" and "released" repeats in meaningful way. I don't think that it's possible to describe it differently. I have no other idea how to construct it. Eurohunter (talk) 16:55, 23 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
      • Repeating release/released in the same sentence likes this makes the prose repetitive and less engaging. There are a lot of ways to word this information without the repetition. Just off the top of my head, you could do something like: ("Fest i hela huset" was Basshunter's first single since "Saturday", which was released on 5 July 2010.) Aoba47 (talk) 17:07, 23 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
        • Done. It's good idea. Changed it to ""Fest i hela huset" was Basshunter's first single since "Saturday", which was released on 5 July 2010.". Eurohunter (talk) 20:29, 23 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • This part (to make the best of the special conditions associated with producing a song while participating in a reality television series) is awkwardly phrased and would benefit from revision and further specification. I could understand the basic idea of what you are meaning here, but it could be clearer.
    • Comment: I wanted to describe it in encyclopedic way. I will propose the other version. Eurohunter (talk) 20:29, 23 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
    • Comment: I checked the reference what was exactly told and it's: "It's a bit special conditions to make a song like this, but you have to make the best of the situation, says manager Henrik Uhlmann (...) from Expressen. Translated via Google Translste. Eurohunter (talk) 17:31, 25 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • I would say the song's connection with Big Brother as a whole could be better introduced and discussed as a whole. Even though I am familiar with Big Brother, I feel these parts need improvement. For instance, it is not clear how this is "Basshunter vs Big Brother" as the infobox puts it as the versus element is not made clear to me at least.
    • Comment: What exactly is your idea for this? Eurohunter (talk) 16:55, 23 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
      • The Big Brother element of this song needs to be more clearly defined in the article. There are even small errors regarding this, such as Big Brother not even being linked in the article. I do not have any ideas for this. All I am saying is that it is not well-done or well-written in the article in its present state. Aoba47 (talk) 17:07, 23 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
        • Comment: Big Brother was originally linked, but it was somehow lost in edits. I added links again. Eurohunter (talk) 20:40, 23 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
        • Comment: I added information about Big Brother and the winner. Eurohunter (talk) 17:04, 24 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
    • Comment: "Basshunter vs Big Brother" is taken from release and yes sometimes in music industry collaborations are called "versus" instead of "with" or "featuring". I used to think about this in general, and I have no idea why that is. We could ask this question under any release with artists presented as "versus". Eurohunter (talk) 16:55, 23 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Just to be clear, this is not an exhaustive list, but instead, these are just some examples of areas that need improvement. Apologies again, but I just do not think this nomination is prepared. Best of luck with the article in the future. Aoba47 (talk) 23:11, 22 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

  • Summary: Your comments have been noted and issues has been taken into account. Some issues require further comments from you. Thank you. Eurohunter (talk) 16:55, 23 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • Please do not use graphics or templates. This is something explicitly pointed out in the FAC instructions (i.e. Do not use graphics or complex templates on FAC nomination pages.) as they slow down the page load time. Apologies in advance for being nitpick-y with this one, but I am not required to comment further as someone giving an oppose (or as a reviewer in general) so I would avoid that kind of language in the future.
    • Comment: I removed templates. You are not required to comment further but then I can't improve article efficiently. Eurohunter (talk) 20:29, 23 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • I disagree with your comments. I still think elements such as the song length is awkwardly positioned in the article, and I still think the Big Brother aspect of the song is not well-explained or well-written. Repeating what I have said above, I believe this article would benefit from a substantial amount of work and revision that is best done outside of the FAC space. Aoba47 (talk) 17:07, 23 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
    • Comment: So if I move song length one sentence further as mentioned above it will be okay? I could explain what is whole Big Brother franchise. Is that a good idea? Eurohunter (talk) 20:29, 23 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
      • I am ending my review here. As I have stated above, the comments I have provided above are not an exhaustive list about how I feel the article's prose is not up to a FA level. They are just some examples. My oppose stands, and I will no longer engage in a back-and-forth conversation here. Hopefully, other reviewers will help with this FAC. I do not think this article is ready for this nomination. Aoba47 (talk) 21:07, 23 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
        • Comment: I see the lead is the biggest issue here and I will work on it and other issues as well. I will try to improve everything today. Btw. if the comments you have provided above are not an exhaustive list you can add all your doubts and I will work on it, because now it's kinda "there is an issue but I will not tell you" - while apart from nomination the most important thing is just make article as best as possible. Eurohunter (talk) 06:37, 24 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
        • Comment: I extended the lead. Eurohunter (talk) 20:45, 25 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • Summary: @Aoba47: I fixed/tried to fix all the issues you have listed. I did my part. What do you think about improvements? Eurohunter (talk) 10:43, 26 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
SC

Sorry, but it's an oppose from me too. Looking only at the lead, I see the following:

  • A comma splice in the first line isn't the best way to start things off
  • Is one a "member" of Big Brother?
  • "with Basshunter being responsible for the production": this is clumsily phrased
  • "recorded in the assignment room of Big Brother with its contestants." Ditto – it's not entirely clear what is being said here
  • "None of the contestants had worked with music professionally earlier." This is very clumsy grammatically
  • "Ultimately": wrong word choice

That's just the lead, and I could probably add to these if I wanted to. A quick glance at the next section shows similar problems. I advise withdrawing and working on this a bit more, possibly going through PR or GOCE to round off some of the edges. - SchroCat (talk) 13:02, 27 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Coord note
Per above, the nom appears underprepared so I'm going to archive and ask that improvements be worked on outside the pressure of the FAC process; I realise a peer review was opened earlier in the year but it wasn't well-patronised so I think another would be in order before any future nom here. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 13:14, 27 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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