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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Dexter's Laboratory/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by GrahamColm 10:01, 17 June 2013 (UTC) [1].[reply]

Dexter's Laboratory edit

Dexter's Laboratory (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

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Nominator(s): Paper Luigi T • C 02:05, 30 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured article because it was recently promoted to GA and I feel that the article has had significant improvement since then. Paper Luigi T • C 02:05, 30 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose. I've started to read through, but I'm seeing too many problems for FAC.

  • Is it not worth mentioning somewhere early in the article the target audience?
    • I've changed "American comic science fiction animated television series" to "American comic science fiction animated children's television series" as the series is mainly geared toward children, though I feel that that is too many adjectives. Paper Luigi T • C 03:01, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The series follows a boy-genius named Dexter who has a secret laboratory filled with an endless collection of his inventions. He constantly battles his annoying sister Dee Dee, who always gains access to his lab despite his efforts to keep her out, as well as his arch-rival and neighbor, Mandark." This feels a little informal. endless ... annoying ... lab
  • "By 1999, 52 episodes and a television movie were produced" Had been?
  • "In 2001, the network revived the series under a different production team at Cartoon Network Studios since season 1" I can't work out what this means.
    • I deleted the last three words to make the sentence make sense. Paper Luigi T • C 03:01, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the series finally ended on November 20, 2003." Finally?
  • "Dexter's Laboratory became one of Cartoon Network's first" It didn't become one of the first. It either was or it wasn't.
  • "and it led to a change in direction for the station centering on more original animated programming." Poor writing
  • "The show achieved high ratings and had a positive reception." What does this tell us that the previous line doesn't?
  • "On January 22, 2013, an unaired episode of the series titled "Rude Removal", which was originally shown only at comic conventions, was released via Adult Swim's official YouTube channel." Recentism? This doesn't warrant so much attention in the lead.
  • bookcase is overlinking
  • "Dexter is normally in conflict with his ditzy older sister, Dee Dee (voiced by Allison Moore in seasons 1 and 3, and Kathryn Cressida in seasons 2 and 4), who always mysteriously gains access to his lab no matter what he does to try to keep her out." Again, informal and jovial.
  • Should we really be abbreviating "laboratory" to "lab"?
  • "who amusingly never notice" It's not up to us to say what is and isn't amusing
  • "Russian-esque" is not really a word, and the source doesn't say Russian-esque- it says Russian
  • "lives down the block from him" informal
    • Rewritten to mention his intelligence rather than his location. Paper Luigi T • C 03:01, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Mandark's schemes become significantly more evil, his laboratory darker-looking, industrial and angular, in contrast to his original brightly lit lab which had more rounded features." his his his
  • I'm worried about the series overview lacking references. The last paragraph, for instance, reads very much like original research. The purpose of the second to last paragraph is unclear.
    • Those last two paragraphs didn't seem necessary in the series overview section, so removed. Paper Luigi T • C 03:01, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • The term "segment" is repeatedly used, but never explained.
  • "Monkey often appeared in the Justice Friends segments and vice versa, having teamed with his fellow superheroes while Dexter and Dee Dee sometimes appeared in the Monkey segments." Poor writing.
  • "with his lovely partner" Too informal
  • I'm again seeing a lot of what looks like original research in the recurring segments section
    • I attempted to fix some of the issues while expanding the paragraph on Dial M for Monkey. Paper Luigi T • C 03:01, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
At this point, I stopped reading, sorry.
  • I think there may be more merchandise out there than you have included. For instance, there are books. A Google Book search suggests that there are loads.
    • It seems you're right on that. I'll find a way to include the books, and I'll browse through the CartoonNetwork.com archive later on to scope out other things I've missed. Paper Luigi T • C 03:01, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • This book seems to contain some potential useful analysis, and is a good scholarly source. I see it's cited, once (and badly- the author of the article in question isn't even mentioned). I can access a full electronic copy of the work- I'll leave a note on the article talk page.
    • Thanks. I'll work on adding more from that book. Paper Luigi T • C 03:01, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, but I do not feel that this article is ready for FA status. I suggest that you first find someone willing to spend some time cleaning the prose and double-checking the sources, and work on finding references for the unreferenced sections. It may also benefit from peer review. J Milburn (talk) 23:15, 2 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comment - In regards to the "target audience", Cartoon Network didn't really target a particular audience in their early years, especially with the World Premiere Toons shorts, which Dexter's Lab is one of. The show has a lot of "parental bonus" - risque gags, double entendres and pop culture references only adults would get. That being said, it really is subjective. A lot of cartoons in the 90s were like this... Another thing about using "lab" instead of "laboratory" - The show was often referred to as Dexter's Lab by the network itself, as well as the staff. yonnie (talk) 02:32, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Would adults be watching it if they weren't watching it with children? Almost certainly not. It was aimed at children, and I'm sure we could find a source that was more specific (5-12 year olds? I don't know). I don't object to mentioning that it was called Dexter's Lab, but it's official title is, and always was, Dexter's Laboratory, I assume. I was talking specifically about when we refer to "the lab" in the main body of the article. That's an informal contraction. J Milburn (talk) 10:01, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
This 1997 article contains the closest thing I've found to a target audience so far, which is, "Shows on Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon skew towards the 8-12 set". Paper Luigi T • C 04:48, 5 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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