Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Chhinnamasta/archive2

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was archived by Sarastro1 via FACBot (talk) 00:57, 22 December 2016 [1].

Chhinnamasta edit

Nominator(s): Redtigerxyz ^Talk 17:08, 2 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Chhinnamasta is a Hindu self-decapitated goddess, who holds her severed head in her hand and drinks blood from her wound. While she enjoyed a long peer review, she went unnoticed on her first trip to FAC a month ago, expect a detailed image review by the lone FAC reviewer. She returns to claim her position in the FA pantheon. Redtigerxyz ^Talk 17:08, 2 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I would be a little concerned about some of the prose in this article. For instance, looking at the lede we have statements such as "Chhinnamasta (Sanskrit: छिन्नमस्ता, Chinnamastā, "She whose head is severed"), often spelled Chinnamasta, and also called Chhinnamastika and Prachanda Chandika, is one of the Mahavidyas, ten Tantric goddesses and a ferocious aspect of Devi, the Hindu Divine Mother. Chhinnamasta can be easily identified by her unusual iconography." I'm concerned that it comes across as a little literalist in the way that said beliefs are presented, and is not particularly clear for readers not already familiar with Asian religion. Moreover, wording like "can be easily identified" doesn't (for me) feel particularly encyclopaedic. Midnightblueowl (talk) 19:45, 14 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Why? Obviously only "easily" by someone familiar with the iconography, but there is nothing un-encyclopaedic about it (which isn't to say a rephrase might not be appropriate). Writing about Hindu theology is like advanced maths - there is no real way to make it simple and clear for newcomers. Johnbod (talk) 17:08, 19 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your comments Midnightblueowl and Johnbod. Sorry for the delay in the replies, as I was out of town. References use two ways of defining Chhinnamasta:

as "one of the Mahavidyas", a "Tantric goddess"
iconography: the "self-decapitated goddess"/ the "headless goddess"

The former is followed here; while the iconography is explained in the same para. Reworded the lede to explain Tantra too. I have removed "Chhinnamasta can be easily identified by her unusual iconography"; however like the elephant-headed god Ganesha, the headless goddess is easily recognizable, once you know her iconography of being headless. The article needs to balance between jargon and over-simplification to be encyclopedic. With the help of the GOCE member User:Corinne, I have tried my best to do the same. --Redtigerxyz ^Talk 07:03, 22 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I appreciate the intricacy of an article like this one (I edit many similarly complex articles myself) but I do think that we can reach a better balance between jargon and accessibility. For instance, we should start the article with "Chhinnamasta (Sanskrit: छिन्नमस्ता, Chinnamastā, "She whose head is severed"), often spelled Chinnamasta, and also called Chhinnamastika and Prachanda Chandika, is a goddess in Hinduism and Buddhism." Straight away, that is a lot clearer and more inviting to those unfamiliar with Hindu theology. We can then go on to say something like "Within Hindu theology, she is regarded as one of the Mahavidyas, ten goddesses from the esoteric tradition of Tantra, and a ferocious aspect of Devi, the Hindu Divine Mother goddess." I certainly don't want to lose the technical jargon, but at the same time it has to be made as accessible as possible. At present I don't think that the article does this. It is too technical, too full of shibboleths. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:57, 22 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the feedback, Midnightblueowl. This article is only about Chhinnamasta, the Hindu Mahavidya. No article existed about the Buddhist goddess, primarily known as Chinnamunda. I have temporarily created a 1-liner stub to avoid confusion. It would be helpful if you list a few more examples of shibboleths so that the article can improved further. Redtigerxyz ^Talk 17:41, 22 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Coordinator note: For some reason, FACs for this article don't seem to be getting off the ground. I don't think remaining open is doing it any favours, so I am going to archive this. However, you can re-nominate without the usual 2 week waiting period, and maybe ping those who have been involved in previous FACs or PRs to try and drum up some attention. Sarastro1 (talk) 00:54, 22 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Closing note: This candidate has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{featured article candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through. Sarastro1 (talk) 00:57, 22 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.