Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Black Skinhead/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was archived by Ian Rose via FACBot (talk) 1 June 2019 [1].

Black Skinhead edit

Nominator(s): Kyle Peake (talk) 09:41, 27 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about the song "Black Skinhead" by American rapper Kanye West from his studio album Yeezus. I have nominated this for FA status as I had worked on it enough in the past to get the article accepted as a GA and have since worked on it heavily; look on revision history and I believe it is in-depth enough to become an FA. Also, the song is debatebly the most notable from West's album, as it charted in numerous countries, went Platinum in three and has received much media attention that is covered in the article from reliable sources. If anyone has improvements to be made, please tell me. Kyle Peake (talk) 09:41, 27 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Comment There are problems with fused participles throughout the article (see WP:PLUSING). I suggest ironing them out. Graham Beards (talk) 08:41, 28 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Strong oppose

The lead says little about what the song is actually like, and instead features interminable lists of names of co-producers, festivals, award shows, cover artists and countries. This is very banal information that is best relegated to the body of the article. For much more interesting leads look at "Under the Bridge" or "Today".
- Indopug I have improved the lead now, thoughts? --Kyle Peake (talk) 16:56, 28 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]
The Composition section features unquoted sentences ("These lines use a simple aesthetic touch to envelope the character played by West on Yeezus in black, rugged gear", "the mind of Yeezus mutates the external idea of God into an internal one") that are far too similar to the source ("This seemingly simple aesthetic touch—to envelope the character of Yeezus (the central figure on the album) in black, rugged gear", "But the twisted, egomaniacal mind of Yeezus mutates the external idea of God into an internal one."). A thorough audit for close paraphrasing is needed throughout the article. Also, since the source is basically offering analysis/opinion, you need to attribute the ideas to the critic; they're not simply facts.

I'll stop here. Listing out everything that's wrong with the article is neither feasible nor within the scope of an FAC. Especially since I believe that this article is fundamentally flawed (undeserving of even GA status: the review was very superficial), and needs a thorough top-to-bottom reworking and rewriting.—indopug (talk) 14:47, 28 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I have to agree with Indopug on this. Can I suggest you withdraw this and bring it back after a full copyedit? The prose is just not up to scratch for an FA. - SchroCat (talk) 05:09, 30 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- SchroCat I have requested a codyedit now and how do you undo a nomination? Kyle Peake (talk) 06:24, 1 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  - Good decision, Kyle Peake. If you ping the co-ords with {{@FAC}} And let them know, they’ll sort the administrative side. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 08:14, 1 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Closing note: This candidate has been withdrawn, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{featured article candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through. Ian Rose (talk) 09:34, 1 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.