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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/African River Martin/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Ian Rose 20:23, 19 November 2012 [1].

African River Martin edit

African River Martin (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

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Nominator(s): Jimfbleak - talk to me? 11:54, 9 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

My last FAC was for this bird's probably extinct Asian cousin, the White-eyed River Martin. This one is definitely still around, but it's another short article because so little is know about this African species (especially as its main breeding area is frequently a war zone). Jimfbleak - talk to me? 11:54, 9 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Source review - spotchecks not done

Image check - all OK, own work and PD-1923. Source and author (where available) provided.

  • It's very hard to distinguish any details in the infobox map, some suggestions:
-change color for "all year in Gabon" to something darker. The light cyan has almost no contrast.
-the African continent as background is barely visible. If it's important, you should show the continent more clearly. Otherwise you could cut most of the continent and give more room to the ranges' map (similar to the White-eyed River Martin map focussing on a smaller region). GermanJoe (talk) 14:06, 12 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Thanks for checking. I've cropped to show the smaller region, recoloured the sea to improve contrast with Africa, made Congo same colour as Gabon (silly to have different colours)... and corrected my legend which was also wrong ): Jimfbleak - talk to me? 16:17, 12 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Support Comments - (all points Done) can't speak for the ornithological details, but the article seems comprehensive and close to FA. Information is sufficiently sourced, assuming 1-2 paragraphs are completely covered by their final citation. Some points:

  • Taxonomy ==> is Gustav Hartlaub the first discoverer? Not completely clear from the sequence of information.
  • It's a bit repetitive anyway, rejigged to make it clearer When German zoologist Gustav Hartlaub first described the African River Martin in 1861... Jimfbleak - talk to me? 11:45, 13 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "... martin's anatomy by [Lowe(1938)] " ==> i'd use full name at first mention and avoid the brackets, if possible.
  • "The extent of their differences from other swallows and the wide geographical separation of these two martins suggest that they are relict populations of a group of species that diverged from the main swallow lineage early in its evolutionary history, [and that they may be the most primitive of the swallows]" - The last part does not follow logically from "extent of differences" or "geographical separation", needs slight rephrasing.
  • Moved second part to end of para and rephrased Their physical characteristics and breeding behaviour suggest that they may be the most primitive of the swallows. Jimfbleak - talk to me? 11:45, 13 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The African and Asian Pseudochelidon species differ markedly in the size of their bills and eyes, suggesting that they have different feeding ecologies, with the White-eyed River Martin probably able to take much larger prey."== > just checking, is that covered with the next source [11]? Should have a source, if not.
  • "The African River Martin has a strong, fast flight interspersed with glides. It is a vocal species with a variety of sounds. It has a jingling "song" given in the aerial breeding display, and a number contact calls, kee-r-r, chee-chee and similar short, unmusical sounds. Flocks call together, cheer-cheer-cheer, as they take to the air, and this martin is very vocal during migration, giving harsh gull-like calls." ==> completely optional, but any chance for a sound sample?
  • Distribution "Three or four birds were seen passing through the southern Central African Republic in 1994." ==> With a population of 100.000 is that really notable enough? Birds stray sometimes, seems like no big news.
  • Bird articles always mention extra-limital occurrences. A Belted Kingfisher in Florida is commonplace, but it's a major rarity here in the UK. AFAIK, this is the only record outside the countries in which it breeds, so definitely needs to be mentioned Jimfbleak - talk to me? 11:45, 13 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • The article has "the martin" and "this martin". ==> Suggest to double-check for consistent usage (assuming you mean all martins with "the martin"? Maybe avoid "the martin" altogether for clarity.) GermanJoe (talk) 08:47, 13 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

(indent) all points Done, changed to support - nice work. GermanJoe (talk) 07:38, 15 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Support Comments by Cwmhiraeth

This article seems of high quality but here are a few observations:
  • "Young birds are similar in appearance to the adults, but are browner plumaged." - I don't care for "browner plumaged".
  • "These two species possess a number of features which distinguish them from other swallows and martins, including their robust legs and feet, stout bill, large syrinx (vocal organ) and a different bronchial structure." - This sentence is a mixture of singular and plural.
  • " Like other early hirundine lineages, these martins nest in burrows, rather than adopted nest holes or mud nests." - Does the word "burrow" necessarily mean a tunnel created by its owner?
  • I'd rather assumed that in the absence of other qualification that it did, but I've added "self-excavated" to be absolutely clear. All burrow-nesting swallows make their own tunnels Jimfbleak - talk to me? 16:21, 14 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
To be continued. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 10:09, 14 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
A few more. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 18:50, 14 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • " It also displays on the ground, with the wings drooped and slightly open, and the head raised but horizontal;" - I don't care for the "but horizontal".
  • "The pocket at the end of the tunnel has a few twigs and leaves to serve as a nest, onto which two to four unspotted white eggs are laid." - The subject of this sentence is "pocket" rather than the nesting material.
  • Two to four unspotted white eggs are laid onto a few twigs and leaves in the pocket at the end of the tunnel.
  • " and by regional legislation in Nigeria" - This seems a curious statement. Surely Nigeria is outside its range?
  • It is curious, but that appears to be the case, I suppose it it's a potential visitor Jimfbleak - talk to me? 19:36, 14 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • The relevant laws appear to be based directly on older colonial legislation which included a number of species not native to Nigeria, added a sentence to that effect Jimfbleak - talk to me? 19:50, 14 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks again Jimfbleak - talk to me? 19:50, 14 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

No further comments and now changed to "Support". Cwmhiraeth (talk) 06:28, 15 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks again for review and support Jimfbleak - talk to me? 06:38, 15 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
It has a jingling "song" given in the aerial breeding display, - why the quotation marks around 'song'?
  • Turner says Brosset and Erard... noted a jingling noise, heard during displays, which they called a song . It's a bit damning with faint praise, but she doesn't use quote marks, so now removed. Jimfbleak - talk to me? 13:18, 18 November 2012 (UTC) [reply]

Other than that, I read through a couple of times and nothing else jumped out from a prose or content POV that I could see. Nice read. Casliber (talk · contribs) 13:25, 18 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]


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