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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/1982 Formula One World Championship/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was archived by Laser brain via FACBot (talk) 20:14, 22 October 2018 [1].

1982 Formula One World Championship edit

Nominator(s): Zwerg Nase (talk) 13:34, 17 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about the 36th running of the Formula One World Championship during the 1982 season. Commonly known as one of the best, but also most tragic, season of F1, it saw highly competitive racing in very dangerous cars. Two drivers were killed during the year, another sustained career-ending injuries. On the competitive side of things, eleven different drivers won races, none more than two. The article passed through GA review a little while ago. Since then, I have added alt-texts to the images (please check if they are OK, this is not my strong suit!). Other than that, feel free to suggest any chances to bring this to FA level. I could imagine that some attention must be given to the Background section. A layman's view would be welcome here, since I am not sure how understandable the text is right now to people not familiar with F1. Zwerg Nase (talk) 13:34, 17 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Tony1 edit

1a: Lead ...

  • "The season commenced on ..."—We have "start", "begin", and "commence". The last is rather formal, but English is at its most elegant when plain.
  • Why is it a contradiction or a suprise that a powerful car is dangerous? "In powerful, yet dangerous cars, two drivers lost their lives". And what about making the point of departure (the grammatical theme) thus: "Two drivers lost their lives in powerful, dangerous cars." I hope they were unusually powerful and dangerous ... danger seems to arise from the driving situation, not the car itself.
  • "Later on in the season, championship favourite Didier Pironi suffered a career-ending accident during qualifying for the German Grand Prix." Why "on"? Can we get around ing ing? "while qualifying"?
  • "led to regulation changes aimed at increasing driver security for the following season."—that's what you'd write if there'd been some doubt about their efficacy. More neutral would "changes to increase".
  • This is a winding snake: "Rosberg won only one race during the season, at the Swiss Grand Prix – the first World Champion to do so since Mike Hawthorn in 1958 – but consistency gave him the title, sealed at the last race of the season ahead of Pironi and John Watson."
  • "two times" ... why not simplify?

Table: why is the text in one column bolded?

The next two sentences:

  • "Brabham had entered a deal for engine supply with German car manufacturer BMW for the use of their L4 turbo engines." Replace four words with two, to simplify the grammar.
  • "The team announced in January that they would only be using the new BMW engine,[3] however, after experiencing reliability problems with the BMW engine, they reverted to using the Cosworth DFV engine several times during the season." -> "... engine; but after ...". Isn't it simpler?

The prose is not good enough for an FA.

Hate the effect of hundreds of flags. Thank god they're small (could they be even a little smaller?). But when it comes to the purply yuck filling the table cells, I need shades and a vomit bucket. I wonder whether some of those colours could be less saturated (esp. the purple). I understand the efficiency of conveying an extra dimension of meanings by colour—don't get me wrong. But it turns out so gaudy. Tony (talk) 13:00, 18 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Coordinator comment - It's evident there is work to do before this is ready for consideration. Please work over the prose with a good copyeditor and you may renominate any time after the customary two-week waiting period. --Laser brain (talk) 20:14, 22 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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