Road2tip
| This user is a student editor in University_of_Alabama/Relational_Communication_-_online_(Fall_2020) . |
Welcome! edit
Hello, Road2tip, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 02:50, 21 August 2020 (UTC)
Instructor Feedback for Draft edit
Overall this is a nice start to creating a new article on Wikipedia. I think you explain the basics of FWB while also making insightful connections to related theories. Here are some suggestions for improvement as you revise. In the lead section I suggest using a different phrase than "no strings attached" because these types of colloquial phrases might mean different things to different people. Use a description that avoids metaphor in this case because it's in the lead where you are trying to keep the definitions clear and simple for readers. Also, I think you could hedge a bit on some of the claims, such as that "they are short term and non-committal." Some might be short-term but others might continue for awhile. Some might transition into commitment or a form of romantic relationship. I think you can elaborate on the last sentence in the lead, but move that discussion to a content or application section. The first sentence of the background section does not seems to fit here. Move it to a content section and expand. I think the portion of the background section where you describe how it is similar and different that other casual sex relationships could be moved to a content section. Focus on how scholars have studied FWB and how the research has evolved over time. The last sentence of the background needs to specify what type of relationship because "these relationship" is an unspecified referent here. It could mean FWB or it could mean romantic relationships. The quoted material in the third wave feminism section needs to be cited properly in APA style. Make sure to be clear about where the quote starts and ends. Some sentences in this section are fragments and cumbersome to read. Revise for clarity and readability. What do you mean by this sentence: "On another, FWB relationships may not help women comprehend their sexual agency."? The section on affection exchange theory needs more development and clearer connection to FWBR. I'm confused by the second sentence as it seems contradictory. Similar suggestion for the attachment theory section in that it needs more development and connection to FWBR. Self-determination theory in the application section should be moved to a content section and expanded to match the other theories. The application section should focus on presenting results of studies and explain why these findings might matter to Wikipedia readers. You do not have to describe the methodology of the studies. Focus on the findings. The critique section has good content, but it's not really a critique of the concept or research related to FWB. I suggest moving this content to a content section and labeling the section "Challenges with FWB Relationships" or something like that. The critique section could be focused more about what is missing from our understanding of FWBR and what research can do in the future if you are not able to discuss critiques of existing FWBR research or how scholars have conceptualized the term. Jrpederson (talk) 01:59, 15 October 2020 (UTC)