User talk:Kdnjl2000/JL2000 Manchu Language

Hi, I'm Ashley Martinelli peer-reviewing your lead section! The information is very interesting and informative! Perhaps you could organize different topics in your lead into subheadings and sub-paragraphs to better present your information. For example, you mention the Qing Dynasty in two different areas of your lead; I think that maybe they could be put together under one subheading. "Manchu language contains information that is not available in Chinese textbooks or information that is unavailable to translate in Mandarin Chinese." This sentence needs to have examples: what kind of information does the Manchu language contain? Also, I think you should talk about what the social and political landscape was that made the Manchus the last imperial masters, and talk about what changes the government went through to now instill programs in education for learning. I think you'll need some sources involving technical aspects of the language, such as Phonology and Syntax as well.

Hello, my name is Olapade Ilori Jr. and I'm peer-reviewing your lead section. All the information you've provided thus far is suitable for the article and can definitely inform readers on the language. Creating different subheadings for the article may even better present the information you've provided so far. An example could be under your history heading. You may to section of different eras in history instead of just grouping everything together under History. The claims you made were followed by the proper references so that was nice. Also, the way you listed your references is the way it was advised so great job with that! Good job overall, you're headed in the right direction! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Oi40 (talk • contribs) 07:29, 7 April 2017 (UTC)

Afternoon, I took a good amount of time to look over the article, fixed a good amount of grammar, wording, and syntax in order to help the flow of the article, and also took the time to suggest a few changes to sections overall, mainly the History section. As the article is mainly outlining the Manchu language, the History section is lacking in the presentation of the actual language. It, of course, outlined the history and politics of the Manchu people, but the politics presented as it was in the History section, at least in my opinion, has little place in an article solely about the language.

Statements as "not only were they minority rulers, but the empire they built—the greatest continental empire since the time of Cinggis—is seen as the predecessor, if not the blueprint, of the vast poly-ethnic state that China has become today" and "It is not only a symbol of the greatest dynasty in Chinese history, but also proof that the greatest culture has existed" are not considered neutral content.

And "More than half of 6,000 languages all over the world face the imminent threat of extinction, and Manchu is listed along with them" seems to be irrelevant information.

RRM117 (talk) 17:50, 7 April 2017 (UTC)