User talk:Jiayun Chen/Balkan Romani

Assignment

Hi Jiayun, this is good start, but there's already a substantial amount of information there, so you'll need to decide specifically how you will improve this article. I would also recommend looking at some more general resources and perhaps one or two things related specifically to what you're trying to accomplish. I'd look up Balkan Romani literature, for example (the original page says "Balkan Romani is typically an oral language" but this is pretty meaningless; most languages are, save for the likes of assembly language) or maybe some films and music (check out Goran Bregović, he uses Balkan Romani in his music, especially for the sound track of Emir Kusturica's Time of the Gypsies, especially Ederlezi, which is one of his most famous songs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZf00ad3G6o). Chuck Haberl (talk) 23:28, 28 March 2021 (UTC)

Peer Review

Hi, Jiayun! I left a peer-review for your article last week, and I'm here to add to that information and present it in a more palatable way!

So far, the information presented is concise and well-researched. I believe once your new information is added, you will have added significantly to the quality and the range of information readily available re: the Balkan Romani dialect. The information and sources all seem to be relevant, trustworthy, and recent. So long as the info you add is phrased in a concise way, I imagine the article will be strong once complete! Also, a warning to be careful with the lead: it does not yet mention some of the sections to come--the phonological sections, for example--sections which are already in the article before you have made your edits. Make sure you add a sentence or two about those sections to the lead! My recommendations as to what would help add body to your article would be perhaps more information about cultural events of the Balkan Romani speakers--are there specific holidays, traditions, etc. that they partake in? Is there music in that language that can be listened to today? Is there art specific to the region(s) in which the language is spoken? Something else I am curious about is how the speakers of this language cohabitate with the speakers of Romany, if they cohabitate. Your info as to the linguistics re: Balkan Romani is really interesting, but, perhaps because I'm an English major who's super into art and anthropology, your article leaves me wanting more about the culture of the people! That would also be a good way for you to find picture(s) to add to your article--through art, music, or celebrations held by the Balkan Romani people. Maybe traditional clothing? Religious/spiritual imagery?

My entire feedback is on a separate page, but I will paste it here as well:

Lead To improve your lead, make sure you include info from each of your body paragraphs, otherwise the reader will not know what they are going to find within the body of your article. The opening sentence does, however, clearly describe what is to come. The lead briefly describes some following sections, but not all. It does not include info that is not in the article. It is very concise--too concise, and would benefit from more details as aforementioned!

Content I believe all the information is relevant to the topic thus far. Based upon the bibliography, the information seems up to date as well. I think some more cultural info re: the culture surrounding the Balkan Romani people and language might help. Are there holidays, songs, books etc. that center around the language/are written in the language? Are there fairytales or fables? Furthermore, I believe this topic DOES relate to underrepresented people: the Roma are a people constantly misrepresented in media or slandered whether purposefully or not, so that is something to be careful with, especially right now with the misrepresentation/complete erasing of Romani people in enormously popular media such as Marvel's Wandavision. That such large companies could thoughtlessly erase identities in such ways is obviously heinous, and adding to that culture would only be harmful.

Tone and Balance Yes, the article is neutral in tone; there are no biases found! As there aren't really viewpoints so much as there are facts, I do not believe the question regarding viewpoints in the writing applies. No persuasion tactics are applied.

Sources and References I believe the "Dialects" section could use some citations, but otherwise all of the information is satisfactorily cited. The info does reflect the sources. The sources are thorough and current. The sources are written by an array of authors, both in English and other languages, which brings varied perspectives and information to the research. Peer reviewed articles are used, therefore I feel the sources are as trustworthy as they could possibly be! The links to the sources do work!

Organization The content is easy to read for the most part, but there are areas where it feels like sentences could be simplified or combined: the Vocabulary and Lexis section feels wordy, as does the History section. You could literally use fewer words to say the same things, which would help with clarity when reading! Otherwise, the content is well-organized. It makes sense for it to be in this order. If you include a Cultural section, I would recommend putting it after the Writing Systems section.

Images and Media If you are to add images, I would recommend something relating to the culture. I know the Romani people are somewhat famous for their cultural clothing--maybe that could be something relevant to include images of?

Fnt7 (talk) 04:31, 30 March 2021 (UTC)

Final Review

Hi Jiayun, this is my feedback for your final project. As a reminder, the 6 points on which I'm grading you are Language, Structure, Balance, Accuracy, Relevance, and Length. Here are my assessments on each of those areas:

1. Language: On the whole, the article employs proper English spelling and grammar. 5 points.
2. Structure: The article more or less follows the suggested template. 5 points.
3. Balance: At present, the article appears to reflect a neutral point of view. 5 points.
4. Accuracy: Most of the claims are backed by references to the scholarly literature. 5 points.
5. Relevance: Not all of information is relevant, but most is. 4 points.
6. Length: Word count 1160/2000 (including headers but not bibliography). 3 points.

The final score is 27/30. Have a great summer! Chuck Haberl (talk) 22:54, 11 May 2021 (UTC)