Jan Konopka (known online as xjcl) is a Master's student from Germany.

Biography edit

Early Years (1997-2006) edit

Jan was born in Essen on July 31, 1997. His parents were dentists and named him Jan in honor of Jan Ullrich who was later convicted of doping, and so that his initials would resemble JFK's. He entered school in 2003 rather than 2004 despite being past the cutoff date due to being the smart kid, and also skipped second grade.

Outsider at High School (2006-2014) edit

In gymnasium, Jan was a total outsider who never drank or was invited to parties. He was bullied and always spent recess alone sitting next to a garbage can. He became the class clown, replacing affection with attention. When he was 14, his mother committed suicide due to marriage troubles.

At school, his strong subjects were math, science, and English. His weak subjects were PE and German. Outside of school, he played table tennis for many years. Jan spent most of his free time on the English-speaking internet, because it had the dankest memes, leading to further ostracism from his German-speaking peers.

A Rising Edge (2014-2015) edit

Jan moved to Aachen to study computer science at RWTH Aachen University in October 2014. To his surprise, he scored on the 98th and 99th percentile in the university's various "fitness for university" tests, and also scored a 142 on an IQ test a few years earlier. In his first semester, he got all perfect grades, earning him spots on the Dean's List (top 5% of class) for the subsequent 2 years. Jan found a beautiful boyfriend with whom he shared lots of cuddles and video games.

The Great Depression (2015-present) edit

Jan's boyfriend broke up with him and Jan stopped going to classes and started staying at home the entire day surfing the internet. He is very sad and lonely every day and can't talk to people, and is failing academically. Mr. Konopka finished his Bachelor's degree belatedly (past de:Regelstudienzeit) and only in the 72nd percentile, while being on track to have a below-average GPA for his Master's studies.

Jan can't find a way out of his depression but doesn't want to seek treatment as he has been in psychotherapy 2 times during high school to no benefit, and observed his mother taking antidepressants before her suicide, and also thinks his inherent neuroticism and autism are innate and not treatable.