Poems by Meggie Essien AM NOT AFRAID TO LOVE I’m afraid that someday I’d have to love a man
I’m afraid to wake up in the morning and not be alone I’m afraid to stay up till the neighbors sleep in order to cry and still have someone ask me “what’s wrong” I’m afraid my tears will break up with my pillows and get married to a person I’m afraid to let my pain walk naked before another human being I’m afraid my demons will love him
I’m afraid that I will go home someday and someone would be actually waiting for me I’m afraid that someone will disrupt my practice of skipping breakfast I’m afraid someone will leave the toilet seat up I’m afraid someone notice my weakness
I’m afraid a person is going to make me happy I’m afraid that I will have to protect this one person I’m afraid that I might not kiss him right I’m afraid I would need to put effort for another person
I’m afraid to learn silence I’m afraid it will need to be more than rational thinking I’m afraid I will need to start thinking with my heart I’m afraid that I will need to listen
I’m afraid he is going to be important I’m afraid he is going to be good I’m afraid he is going to overreach on the standards I’m afraid I would have to admit I have fallen in love
I’m afraid he is going to understand me I’m afraid he is going to applaud I’m afraid he is going to make an extended family of my demons I’m afraid he is going to have no demons
I’m afraid he is going to look at me and see me. I’m afraid he won’t be temporary I’m afraid he is going to be above my body I’m afraid he is going to make altars of my soul
I’m afraid that one day I will love a man I’m afraid that one day I will have to read him the poems I never wrote I’m afraid that one day I will have to sing with tears in my eyes I’m afraid that one day I will have to hold his hand when we’re both on the ground
I’m afraid that one day I will love a man I’m afraid that one day I will love a grown woke man I’m afraid that one day I’m going to have to let go and let him I’m afraid that one day, I will have to take him to God and introduce him as my assistant voice
I’m afraid that one day my poem will be about a man I love And it will not be fiction.