The Chris Page is a popular public figure Facebook page, that was created on the 8th of March 2016 at around eleven o’clock at night, during the 4th Heywood Depression. At first the page consisted of the same picture of Christopher Heywood Sykes, the person the page is founded upon, everyday for general entertainment but once the “Spector”, creator of this internet phenomenon, saw the limitations of the page being a repetitious image compilation they decided to rebrand the page as “The Chris Page”. This page would later consist of quotes and images of Christopher Heywood Sykes, to fill give the young boy’s life more as he was suffering from tedious teenaged drama.
The page would later be filled with “actions” and “Chris Cronicles”. Actions are basically statements of what Christopher Heywood Sykes has done, surrounded by an asterix at the start and end of the sentence. For example “ *wriggles fingers* “ at this point in Christopher Heywood Sykes’ life, he wriggled his fingers.
Chris Chronicles are small short stories about moments in Christopher Heywood Sykes life, written in an overly dramatic and highly characterised style. An example of which is a time when Christopher Heywood Sykes stopped on the street to let a Bumblebee pass but the story is written to stretch it out to fully capture the moment.
“CHRIS CHRONICLES
On a small suburban street Chris of Glasgow walked down a small narrowing pavement with his mind in the clouds as he walked by bushes and hedges, full of green and life. After a long, hard and strenuous day Chris felt the need to move about slowly and take in the newly dropped season's invigorating air. As he walked down the small path of grey asphalt he saw a small black, white and yellow Bumblebee. The bee slowly and gracefully bounced through the fresh spring air with great reconciliation and unity with its natural surroundings. Chris saw the bee and decided to take this opportunity to respect nature and respect this small innocent Hymenoptera species of Bombus pratorum by stopping and allowing this small beautiful pollinator to pass by and live out the rest of its 28 day lifespan. "Spring is here, it's a bee" Chris thought to himself as the small Anthophila buzzed by. Chris waited until the buzzing little insect had passed his path. Once gone Chris continued to walk knowing that that tiny little helper of flower reproduction shall make it to pollinate and make more bee-concentrated fluid, the sun shined across the beautiful cyan sky above as Chris completed his walk through the streets of south-west Glasgow.”
I’ve the course of the next few years The Chris Page would post more images, quotes, actions and Chronicles, as the following began to grow. In 2017 the page began to release photoshopped images of Christopher or images to advertise the page. The page is not just means of entertainment, some posts will be captioned with comments about modern society or metal health, other images display subtle messages about controversial lifestyles; for instance one image shows Christopher’s face multiple times edited to different stereotypes, “ISIS woman is written under one but no head is visible, commenting on the barbaric nature of the terrorist organisation Islamic States actions such as beheading innocents including women who don’t surrender to their beliefs.
In October of 2016 the page went silent and there was nothing to note, breaking the tradition of a daily post which had been going strong as the Spector had not missed a day, it is theorised that either something happened in the Spector’s personal life or the spector had not been in contact with the public figure Christipher Heywood Sykes. But it is unlikely since all was fine after the hiatus.
Othe posts have some form of deeper meaning such as an image of one of Christopher’s friends but with Christopher’s face instead but he caption reads; “When your hurting and are being hurt by a loved one but don’t know it, calling that happiness but then after a change you see the truth; that you were never happy and that you must laugh at the past because you regret so much and wish for more.” This seems to reference a sad, tragic event in the life of someone, possible the page’s figure. Another is of images of the main villains of the 1990’s anime show Dragon Ball Z, some with the faces of people Christopher knows and others with no faces at all, each has a caption referring to an event in Christopher’s life but none yet have deciphered this image.
The Page is still ongoing and releases at random times throughout the week but not daily like it used to.