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My take on politics:
- Democrat: Give a man a fish
- Republican: Teach a man to fish
- Libertarian: Give, teach, or do nothing. Whatever you want to do.
- Narcissist: What do I get out of doing anything?
- Randian: Do with the fish what makes you happiest
- Communist: Divvy up the fish so we each have an equal share
- Anarchist: Everyone is responsible for their own fish
- Capitalist: We can negotiate on the price of a fish
- Bureaucrat: For a fish 0.0 to 0.273 lbs, file form F in triplicate. For a fish 0.28 lbs, file form Q. What? Your fish is 0.278 lbs? You'll need to put it back in the water until it either loses or gains weight
- Socialist: Everyone takes off a small portion of their own fish to be shared with those who cannot fish
- Unions: Anyone who wants to fish must give us half to represent you to the fish
- Feminist: I can fish as well as any man
- Radical Feminist: A man telling me I need a fish is offensive
- Humanist: Anyone can fish if they tried
- Men's Right's Activist: Why am I always expected to fish?
- President Bush: We caught one fish, mission accomplished!
- President Obama: Let's take bigger chunks out of the fattest fish. It won't hurt him any
- PETA: None of you should eat fish
- Pacifist: Will everyone calm down? Let the fish live in peace
- Wikipedian: Let's have a four week discussion to come to a consensus what to do with the fish
- Achmed the dead terrorist: I kill you, then I eat fish
- Fish: You guys keep arguing, I'm out of here