There are many amazing things in this world. Some of these include water, mammals, Earth, abortion- I'm getting off topic. Anything not about this amazing creation is considered off topic. This creation, so happens to be Philip. I know what you're thinking, right? why is someone so irrelevant and weeeeeak supposed to be a good creation? Well sit back and relax on your electric chair because you're about to find out. Or get sentenced. Either works leeetttss gooooo.
History So, you're probably not thinking, "Well, how was this beautiful creation invented?" Well, let me tell you. It all started when Jesus was choked to death with coal and ashes. Afterwards, his power had to be given somewhere. Millions of people were requesting to gain this power. Whoever gained this power, could rule the world. "I will now decide who gets the power" states god. "The person who will get the power happens to be.." There is a dramatic silence. "Lil Peep - Oh, he's dead? Here, let's see.. Philip Lukovic". This was a dramatic moment, tears in the eyes of such viewers, as the night sky slowly swept away. "Thank you" Philip said, generously. "For absolutely nothing you insensitive idiot. Those aren't powers, probably some sort of Chlamydia". Of course, he was wrong, but no one was willing to reject this. Quick side note, this was also when condoms were invented. "Fine" God said. "Then no one shall get these powers". Then and there, he disappeared into thin air, leaving the crowd speechless. Also dead. Speechless and dead. The impact of his exit was so high, he ended up burning anyone in a two mile radius. But of course, that isn't important. And then, out of no where, there was a voice. The only voice in miles. This was a legendary sound, one that will never be forgotten. The voice got louder, and clear to the ear. "Let's get riiiight into the news". And this kids, is how doxing began. Oh, and that Philip kid, he survived, unfortunately. It still puts tears in my eyes to this day. But afterwards, everyone thought Philip gained the powers, because everyone in hearing distance was already dead. Philip just sort of went along with it because he saw a food truck going nearby. Not because he wanted the food, but to steal the truck. And cause a nuclear war. Anyway, Philip abused these lies, and eventually became the most powerful human alive.
Philip and the Manipulated Child After Philip gained all of these powers, he manipulated numerous large companies and manufacturers. But one person, in particular, was a small kid. This kid's name was Todd. Poor Todd had his mother's funeral today, because the one day God's exit killed her. Philip knew of this funeral, and decided to visit. When he came, he saw the little boy wrapping his hands around his mother's corpse, decorated in leather flowers. slowly whimpering "If I had one more minute with you" A tear fell down his cheek. "I would tell you how much I love you, and how much I took you food grant". He cried for hours, being just a little boy, he never felt anything like it. Philip saw this, and couldn't help feel bad for the boy. Little did the boy know, it was Philip's fault for the God's exit, and his mother's death. And then an idea struck him. An idea that could solve everything, and that could put a smile on the little boy's face. "Here, I found something prosperous I think you might like", Philip said, and led the boy another direction. There, the boy saw his dead grandma, which died years ago in the war. Again, tearing up, he said, "Thank you so much for bringing my grandma's light into this sad and crippling world of mine". He gave Philip a small leather pouch, saying "My mother gave me this. It's my family's fortune. In this is three million British Pounds worth of titanium. I think you should just take it. All I want is my mother back in my life, and that's it." The boy went to hug his grandma, slowly weeping. All of the flash backs of him with his grandma, smiling all about, flashed before him. I'm sorry to say, but later that day, the boy died, hugging his poor grandma. Now, I know what you're thinking. Why tell you all of this? Well, here's why. That grandma, was actually a homophobic overaged man in disguise. Philip owed him a favor, and promised to get a boy to hug him by the end of the week. That's when he manipulated the boy into thinking that it was his grandma, so the man would get the pleasure he needed. Also, notice how the boy gave Philip the bag of money. This was the plan the whole time. Notice the bag was made of leather with the money, and remember I stated the corpse was too? And notice he said, "Here, I found something prosperous I think you might like", If you don't know (which you should you dumb-minded non-dominate non-homosapious subject) prosperous means money. Both of these were to manipulate the subconscious mind of the little kid to give him the money, and manipulate him to think it's for religious reasons. Oh, and the death. That was just luck. He kind of just died of shock because his mother died and all of that silliness. So, as you can see, Philip is extremely non-caring, and will go out of his way to treat others miserably for his own fortune. For this, he shall be punished eternally. But we don't get into that until later...