I was born in 1979 as a baby. Somehow I had already learned to walk before entering the world and - while everyone in the room was engrossed with the placenta (which apparently contained pearls and banknotes) I wandered off by mistake. I spent the first four years of my life masquerading as a junior doctor - sorry to all those who suffered as a result of my tinpot diagnoses; Bath RUH will probably arrange compo - until I was cruelly exposed as a charlatan quack and sent to primary school. I now busy myself making grotesque representations of death using nothing but spit, boot polish, acorns and epoxy resin.

My brilliant blog about science and stuff Futures,yeah? (talk) 21:16, 8 October 2014 (UTC)