- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by PFHLai (talk) 14:31, 7 May 2016 (UTC)
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Philipp Wolfrum edit
- ... that after Max Reger's death, Philipp Wolfrum conducted the premiere of Der Einsiedler for soloist, choir and orchestra, which his friend had dedicated to him, and of the Hebbel Requiem?
- Reviewed: Marion Boulton Stroud
- Comment: perhaps good on 8 May, when Wolfrum died
Created by Gerda Arendt (talk). Self-nominated at 12:49, 19 April 2016 (UTC).
New enough, long enough, no copyvio, no image check needed, neutral tone, my only caveat is that the hook is a bit wordy with too many clauses -- it's unclear which "him" and which "friend" is being referred to. Also, because the source for the hook is in German, perhaps a |note parameter could be added to the footnote that has the segment of the German text that verifies this? (for example, at Finnhorse, the lead editor noted the original Finnish text in several of the footnotes, as few English speakers know Finnish, but a brief source search with machine translation can allow anyone the ability to verify the content) Redo the hook in a way that clarifies the relationship between Wolfrum and Reger (who dedicated what to whom) and it should be good to go. I would suggest a copyedit on the article also, I spotted one typo that I fixed; not enough to cause a problem with DYK, but probably should do a touchup before it hits the main page
- How about: I give you the prose and you squeeze it in a hook? Reger wrote two pieces, E(insiedler) and R(equiem), and dedicated E to Wolfrum, who conducted the premiere of E and R but only after Reger's death. Never heard of a dedication from conductor to composer. My attempts (but all three miss something substantial, ALT1 the dedication, ALT2 the Requiem, ALT3 the heavy weight of the scoring):
- ALT1:
... that Philipp Wolfrum conducted the premiere of two late works for soloist, choir and orchestra by Max Reger, Der Einsiedler and the Hebbel Requiem, after the composer's death?
- ALT1:
- ALT2:
... that Philipp Wolfrum conducted the premiere of Der Einsiedler for soloist, choir and orchestra by Max Reger, which Reger had dedicated to him, after the composer's death?
- ALT2:
- ALT3: ...
that Philipp Wolfrum conducted the premiere of both Der Einsiedler, dedicated to him by the composer Max Reger, and the Hebbel Requiem after the composer's death?--Gerda Arendt (talk) 18:21, 3 May 2016 (UTC)
- ALT3: ...
- If I edit the hook, then someone else has to review it ;-). I think either ALT2 or ALT3 work, but I think that " for soloist, choir and orchestra" is what is bogging down all three... if the scoring is important, its importance is not made clear by simply saying so. I also think that "after the composer's death" could do better earlier in the hook as more of an introductory phase. All that said, ALT2 or ALT3 would work as is. Montanabw(talk) 03:23, 4 May 2016 (UTC)
- You could propose better wording, as long as you don't introduce new facts which would require new sources, which would need extra reviewing eyes. How is this, the other way round (although I normally prefer the bolded subject early):
- ALT4: ... that Max Reger dedicated Der Einsiedler (The Hermit) to conductor Philipp Wolfrum and his choir, but they performed the premiere only after the composer's death, together with his Requiem? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 06:33, 4 May 2016 (UTC)
ALT4 works. Good to go! Montanabw(talk) 03:14, 7 May 2016 (UTC)