Template:Did you know nominations/Oil shale in Israel

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by PFHLai (talk) 13:59, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

Oil shale in Israel

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Created/expanded by Beagel (talk). Self nom at 19:36, 27 October 2011 (UTC)

  • The lead needs to be expanded, most especially you need to mention what oil shale is and that it is a newly exploitable form of energy. "Country's territory" seems redundant, and you can fit a bit more information into the hook - perhaps you should. ResMar 23:41, 27 October 2011 (UTC)
Lead is expanded. Please let me know if you think that further expansion is needed. I do not think that we need a deep explanation about "what oil shale is" in this article as we have FA status on oil shale article. What I did I just added basic definition of oil shale and bring link to the oil shale article into the second sentence. I don't know how it could be added into hook, but if there is any idea we should consider this. Concerning 'country's territory', the alternative is to use 'Isreali territory' instead; however, in this case there will be repetition of Israel in the hook. By my understanding this 15% applies to the Israeli territory without Palestinian territories. There is no known oil shale deposits in Palestinian territories. However, the source does not specify this. I will also think how to expand the hook or if there is any good alternative for the hook. Beagel (talk) 09:14, 28 October 2011 (UTC)
ALT 1: ... that oil shale deposits in Israel may cover approximately 15% of country's territory, but only a small part of it is mineable for energy use?
Everything checks out. The current line is acceptable, but I like ALT 1 better for length, and because it mentions "for energy use". ResMar 15:32, 29 October 2011 (UTC)
Support ALT 1. Beagel (talk) 17:26, 29 October 2011 (UTC)